Perhaps if Cookie Magazine had run more articles like “Vice Is Nice” in its august pages, it wouldn’t have gone out of business. Or perhaps it was this good/terrible all along, and I just never knew it because of the ridiculous name, the elevation of consumerism-as-religion, or the vanity photo spreads about super-vegan celebrity parents?

From the article, a taste of what could have saved American publishing:

On what to bring to playdates:

One neighbor specialized in gimlets, another in craft beers, and yet another in cult bargain wines. It didn’t take long for this impromptu family rave to fragment into further vice tribes. Just as kids of a certain age gravitated toward the playhouse and others played kickball, for the adults there was the secret smoker’s club, a group of people who perched on the perimeter, furtively sharing a single cigarette, ready to stamp it out if a kid approached. And then there was the secret pot club, a group of recreational stoners who had more vigilant security procedures. They would collectively disappear entirely, smoke in shifts, and return to the party. I once observed a mother/lookout stopping curious kids from finding the pot smoker’s circle in a side yard by intercepting the kids with a platter of cheese and crackers. Paranoia makes perfect.

On justifying it:

all parents agree that a little too much pot is better than a little too much booze. Legal or not, “There’s nothing worse for parenting than a hangover,” says Marny. “And it’s not like we’re getting messed up and driving our kids around, which our parents very well might’ve been,” says another. “We feed them organic food. We’re using car seats. We don’t drive drunk, and we’re not about to drive high.” While parenting may make you feel emotionally grounded, you’re grounded the other way too, meaning you’re not going anywhere if you haven’t lined up a babysitter. So you might as well make good use of the liquor cabinet or the stash, as the case may be. (All the better when the neighbors are of like mind.)

On the Ludditic parentage of non-stoner parents of the contrary opinion:

While some parents joke, others aren’t amused. “If they want to get high around their kids, that’s their decision,” says one wary mother we’ll call Michele, who still occasionally indulges in a toke now and again. “But I certainly don’t want them stoned and babysitting my kids. God forbid a kid gets hurt and the mom is too high to deal with it responsibly.”