Nope–has nothing to with man-breasts. Flat Daddies are cardboard cutouts of photos of dear old dad, designed for military fathers posted abroad. Now, I have no interest in making a statement about the military, heroism, public service, terrorism, apple pie, counterinsurgency tactics, Iowa, SUVs, or any of the millions of other things I associate with this sort of idea. But think about it: cardboard daddies!

Does he take out the trash? No! Does he change a diaper? No! Does he fix a leaky sink? No! Shit, sounds like me.

Check out (the admittedly poignant) pictures here.

And from the faq:

Taking and Selecting a Photo
Does the photo need to be in uniform?

It is best for the photo to be taken in uniform, but we understand that you might not have a good quality photo of your loved one in uniform.
Do I need to send a full body photo?

No. A photo that is waist and up is preferable. The Flat Daddy is printed life size, waist and up.
Does the photo need to be of my loved one alone or can you crop him out?

It is best if the photo is of your loved one alone, but we are able to crop the photo if there are others in it.
How big is a Flat Daddy?

The material is 26″ x 36″, but the actual printed image may vary depending on the size of the photo provided.

Further sign that I’m going to daddy-hell: Think I could use one of these fucking things to babysit for JP next time I go out?