Who's your daddy?
As a guy who will admit not only to wearing pink socks but to matching them with pink underwear as well, I took a particular interest in this BBC story brought to my attention by TheAwl.com:
“If you’re a typical little boy, pink is viewed as girly, effeminate, unmasculine, and, in short, to be avoided.
And yet, a strange thing seems to happen to the modern British boy when they reach adulthood. Pink no longer seems to be so rigidly associated with female dress.”
Perhaps this means I am a modern British boy. (Indeed, for a year of my primary schooling I lived in England, and wore with no small amount of pride a hideous purple jumper and black-yellow-and-purple striped tie.) But the article goes on to describe (with minimal detail, unfortunately) how contemporary pinkophiles—often bankers, golfers, and other alpha-male types—remain reluctant to do Junior up in rosy hues.
Somewhat disconcertingly, I feel I have to count myself among them. Disconcerting because I’ve strenuously fought against letting my daughter, Sasha, get the head-to-toe pink princess treatment. With her short hair and outgoing manner, she’s already frequently mistaken for a boy. Correcting people is one of those parental moments where you get to feel totally superior: Um, she’s a girl. You just assume she’s a boy because of how she’s dressed. Sexist!
But actually, it’s pretty easy to be confused by a baby’s looks. They’re all kind of blobby and sexless, and often dressed in whatever Mom or Dad has deemed “clean enough” to go outside the house in. An outsider has a 50-50 shot at being right (or wrong), so if there are no “girl” cues in the kid’s appearance, why not guess boy?
Of course, if Sasha were a boy and strangers thought him a girl because of his pink outfit, I think I’d be much more upset. Maybe because of some latent castration anxiety I’d be projecting onto him? Maybe because a girlish boy invites sneers (even as a toddler!) so much more than a boyish girl? Maybe because pink has just been ruined by our culture, forever (or at least since World War II) given a girlish cast for arbitrary reasons?
The funny thing is, Sasha’s got this lovely Bonpoint wool hat she’s been wearing in cold weather for most of the past year, and it’s pink. And she looks damn cute in it—for a girl.
As the third child, my only (2.5 yr old) boy wears pink fuzzy scarves and pink boots, rides a hot-pink tricycle, and often is fixed up with a “pony” (tail) or, most recently, a lovely blue barrette. I too resisted the endless pink for my first daughter, in part to ensure I had clothes for a boy, should one come along later. My mother-in-law had other ideas when the second came along, and she was often wrapped head-to-toe in pink.
As my girls aged into clothing themselves (beware, Matt, you have about another 6 months of autonomy, if you are lucky!) they have regularly surprised us with their choices. On my first’s third birthday, I had a dress for her in her favourite pink colour all wrapped up. I had decorated the kitchen in pink and purple streamers. She opened her eyes in the morning and stated: mom, my new favourite colours are orange and green.
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ha. This reminded me to look up an old sweet juniper post I loved:
http://www.sweet-juniper.com/2008/12/parenting-enemy.html
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