We here at DadWagon are all for better, more thoughtful parenting (except when we’re sorta not), but let me just say that there seems to be a lot of private Parent Coaching out there, and some of it sure looks like bullshit to me.
Let’s see what one prominent parent-coach factory, the Seattle-based Parent Coaching Institute, has to say for itself:
“We view Parenting as a Living System™ and families as containers for dynamic growth, aliveness, creativity, and endless possibilities.”
Yeesh.
PCI was founded in 2000 and is part of the distance education lineup at Seattle Pacific University, a wholesome Methodist school that I lived near for five years when the girlfriend and I were living in the best, cheapest apartment we’ll ever know. I like Seattle Pacific. Their students were polite. They let me run on their outdoor track.
You don’t need a fancy degree to get into the parent coaching biz, though. Sandy McDaniel, a very tan and very Orange County grandmother who dabbles in motivational speaking, has started offering parenting tips online for $6.95 a month:
Less anger in our homes, less anger in our children, less anger in our world… For the sake of your heart, for the sake of our world, make raising your children your number one priority. You are the architect of a human being’s life! There are no re-runs in this vital game of nurturing and teaching our children.
Seriously: What is this? The algal bloom of parent coaches, at least judging from this list of Washington State PCI graduates, seems to mostly consist of moms whose children have grown up. I sympathize: They’ve gained all this knowledge about raising kids and then suddenly their kids don’t need any more raising. We at DadWagon will have to deal with that some day as well. But I don’t believe I will be tempted to throw down $5,800 to get a pseudo-degree as a “heart-centered” parent coach (the bulk of the PCI instruction, by the way, takes place in 36 “phone classes”).
But this is how the wedding-planner industry gets its workers, right? Women have a wedding themselves, or plan one for their children, and get so involved in the details that they start thinking they could do this for a living.
And can this really be a good business in these times? Parent coaching has to be at the very top of the list of things to cut out of the budget once Dad or Mom has to take fewer shifts at the factory.
I like New Delhi entrepreneur Puneet Rathi, a mechanical engineer turned HR manager who a few years ago decided to start selling his version of Positive Parenting, which he calls Atma Chetna. Not sure how that’s working out for him, though he did get a writeup in the Times of India.
It does strike me that his approach, which he teaches throughout the Middle East and South Asia, is essentially a progressive one: Respect the child’s beliefs and feelings, and decrease the pressure on students. Stateside, many of the parent coaches seem to be coming from a Family Values perspective: a conservative call for stronger parenting to ward off the moral decay of today’s America.
Good luck with that.
Am I wrong on this? Are the people at PCI doing Wonderful Work™ and I’m just too sarcastic to realize it? If you’ve got a good case to make in favor of Parent Coaching, make it.
KNOW you will get alot of responses from other PCI grads but hope you consider this one…
I am as educated, trained and certified to help you sort out your family issues as your mechanic is for your car, your electrician is for your wiring, or your barber, or your butcher, or your pharamicist, etc. The list goes on and on and on. As a modern day Renaissance man I am SURE you can do all these things too. Or DO you really believe you know everything….? NO receive button?? Now THAT is MY defination of a dummy! You appear at least in print to be fairly intelligent.
But I’ll bet you ask for help at Home Depot when you need it… And even then you KNOW they are not the most qualified expert and you have to ask a “professional.” That would be me too.
I have been professionally qualified to be helping Army families for over 30 years. I’ve been a Child Development Specialist (know ages,stages of development) a Parent Effectiveness Trainer (help parents parent, better and more effectively)for over 20 years and now, additionally a PCI Parent Coach.
I chose to attend PCI because I was already really good at this piece of “living in the village that raises the children”. I am NOT the mechanic or plumber, that is not my strength in this village. Good as I already am, I wanted to keep getting better, and this is THE best training there is. You, Dad, ought to have the same “getting better all the time” parenting standards too.
Part of YOUR job is to sort through the mechanics,plumbers, electricians, in your area to find the best one for your situation. Same rules apply here. I would be that resource for you or anyone smart enough to ask me for parenting help.
You do it in the other areas of your life – what is the hang-up here?
Your children would be lucky to have me (or another QUALIFIED, Certified Parent Coach) to coach you through the ups and downs of parenting. Are they also blessed to have a trustable parent as well? I define THAT parent who is smart enough to ask for qualified, experienced help when they realize they need it. I’d be a trustable adult in your children’s lives…How about you?
Come check us out.
Coach Lee
My first reaction as I read your article was that it was written by someone who hadn’t bothered to get any information–clearly not by a journalist. What s shock to read your your credentials on the About page! Worse than that, I am a fan of Matt Gross’s The Frugal Traveler.
Have you spoken with parents who worked with certified coaches from the Parent Coaching Institute? Have you spoken with the parent coaches who trained there? Have you interviewed Gloria DeGaetano, the founder of the PCI? How can you say what works when you haven’t experienced it yourself or interviewed anyone? (Does Matt tell you where to eat and sleep just by experiencing the place on the web? No–he experiences it himself.)
Yes, I am a Certified Parent Coach® and attended all those phone classes you mentioned. I also did all the coursework, research, reading, wrote papers, and can tell you that it was indeed graduate school. I have a M.A. in Learning Disabilities and Behavior Disorders from The Ohio State University, so I have a valid point of reference.
Not only do I have the academic credentials to be a Certified Parent Coach®, but I have worked with families for over 30 years as a classroom teacher, school administrator, and parenting and educational consultant. I am not alone. While you perused the PCI website did you notice that many of its grads have Ph.d’s in related fields?
You have written a piece about your feelings. Now go back to your journalistic roots and do the research. Then write an article based on fact.
Sorry to all–I typed too fast. My last name is spelled incorrectly. The correctly spelling is “Moskowitz”.
I appreciate your invitation to present the other side. As a PCI certified parent coach, I welcome your willingness to learn more about the Parent Coaching Institute and I encourage you to dive in – you will be impressed. I think we can agree that you can find “bullshit” in almost any profession and I applaud your right to question it here, so please allow us enlighten you.
Yes,there are some people out there who call themselves parent coaches with very little expertise, knowledge and skill to back them up. I am sure you agree with my colleague Lee that everyone needs help at times, smart people ask for help, and when parents need help they should look for professionals that are qualified. We all need to shop wisely and watch where we put our hard earned pennies, not just in these difficult economic times, but always. Parent coaching is definitely not for every parent but for some it is a perfect fit.
Your assumption of PCI coaches as maybe too touchy feely? or cerebral?, as expressed by your “yeesh”, may not be your cup of tea but I can assure you that the PCI program is the most intensive, high caliber certification one can receive in the country. The language we use my not be what you are comfortable or familiar with but our intent is just as sincere and as yours – to help parents “make sense of the sometimes baffling, more often excruciating, occasionally amusing world of (parent)hood”.
As someone with a masters degree in social work, who has been educating and counseling parents and children for 17 years, I am honored to stand with my PCI colleagues who are equally qualified. We are all more than just moms who are looking for something to do now that the children are grown. We have all experienced the same scrutiny and screening process that Gloria DeGaetano, founder of the PCI, established to ensure a quality cadre of professionals. This was not an easy program to get into unlike others I researched when considering this next step in my career, others would have taken my money willingly in exchange for a CD packet or quick three month course.
In my experience as a parent coach, I have had the privilege to work with many dads, yes single dads and dads going through a divorce have hired me, and they have been some of my most enjoyable clients.
Please take a closer look at parent coaching and the PCI in particular. We are on the same team, maybe on opposite sidelines, offering a different yet extremely effective resource to parents. Please open your mind and consider coming over to our side – join us in reaching similar goals. I said earlier that smart people ask for help, may I add that smart people also ask questions and I thank you for yours.
As I read your “slagging the Parent Coaching Industry” I envisioned another one of those really smart journalists writing with clever negativity. I wondered if you vomited on your keyboard as you wrote some of this stuff. But I came to a perhaps different realization as I read your last two questions at the bitter end. This guy is trying to get a rise to promote his Dadwagon website.
Then I took a look at your bio on the about tab. You suspect you might be screwing up your kids but not sure how. Shoot, maybe he is really just looking for a little help. “Yeesh.”
My background is a little different than most PCI graduates. I come with a marketing degree, 28 years in a family sporting goods business, and parent of a 24 year old son and 21 year old daughter.
What qualifies me to be a parent coach besides the above? You already identified 36 hours of phone classes. Would over 800 hours of reading, research, writing,and parent coaching during my course work qualify?
I did get a chuckle out of your 1970’s picture of the football player and coach. ( Socks, coach’s shirt and hat—-dead giveaway) I am a sports guy myself. I played sports growing up, and my son started at linebacker the past two seasons for one of the best football programs in the country at Boise State University.My daughter plays basketball and runs track at NCAA Div. 2 NNU.
I mention this to let you know that my focus in parent coaching is in sports parenting. Besides helping parents build the capacity in their children to perform better, I build both the parent and child’s capacity to have fun through sport. More important, we work on building stronger relationships through sport. Think about that last statement as your parent your two children in sports down the road.
Brace yourself Nathan! I attempt to do all this by being a “heart centered coach.” I know—–“yeesh.” Hang On! It gets better———-I also use a concept in my coaching called Productive Love. Not to worry however, it’s not the mushy kind of love you might be wary of, but a love that contains respect, care, knowledge, and responsibility. Since you seem like a sort of tough minded guy, think of the term tough love. Help you any?
Please excuse some of my sarcasim. You mentioned you might be “too sarcastic to realize it.” Thought it might help you understand parent coaching a little better.
Best wishes to you raising your two children. Do take one piece of advice from me. It goes fast.
Tim Brady
Dear Nathan, Thank you so much for raising the issue of parent coaching in your blog. It’s such an important topic and what’s equally important is to be vigilant about the credentials of parent coaches. At the Parent Coaching Institute we train professional educators, counselors, social workers and community health educators with a one-year, graduate-level program to work with parents using a research-based and highly successful coaching model. PCI coaches work with mothers and fathers helping them to create healthy environments despite being bombarded daily by so many unhealthy distractions. The PCI coaching model is based on leading-edge positive change process theories used in other disciplines like business, organizational development, and science—now these exciting concepts and important tools can be used to further the good work of family support professionals. The Parent Coaching Institute has a great track record. Since 2000, the PCI has helped hundreds of parents find more ease and resources. With PCI coaching, moms and dads recognize and appreciate their core strengths, utilizing them and their creativity more fully in meeting their children’s cognitive, emotional, and social needs. When children’s developmental needs are met, society flourishes. When society flourishes, parenting challenges diminish. I may not convince you in a comment to your blog that in today’s world a compassionate, non-judgmental companion like a PCI Certified Parent Coach® is a welcomed resource along the 18-year parenting journey. So, with your request, I would be delighted to send you our Parent Success Stories book with a packet of information. Who knows? You may want to try it and see for yourself what PCI parent coaching is all about.
Gloria DeGaetano, Founder, Parent Coaching Institute
Just to add the perspective of someone who has been coached by a PCI graduate…
My husband and I had a very productive, educational, and positive experience with a parent coach trained through PCI. We were having a rocky time with our 4-year-old, and wanted to get some outside perspective on how to make our family more peaceful and harmonious. It worked, and we still talk to our coach from time to time about parenting. So I would say yes, the people at PCI ARE doing Wonderful Work™.
If you’re ever in the throes of a pitched battle with your kid, and think “maybe there’s a better way than this?” you might consider parent coaching. It sure worked for us.
Dear Nathan,
After reading your blog, I wanted to share with you more about the process I went through to become a PCI Certified Parent Coach®. I felt it might help you to better understand the reasons I feel qualified to assist parents who come to me for my services.
First, I believe, parenting is the most important job that anyone will ever have. If chairmen of the boards of businesses have coaches just to run a business, parents certainly can benefit from a coach’s assistance to raise their children.
I wanted to share some information with you about parent coaching and certified parent coaches. I think it is important that parents understand why we are called certified parent coaches and how we help parents develop the life they would like for themselves and their families.
First, all parent coaches do not receive the training and education that PCI® certified parent coaches do. It is only by being trained and educated through The Parent Coaching Institute in conjunction with Seattle Pacific University that a person can become a Certified Parent Coach®. This training consists of a year of intensive study and a one hundred hour practicum of parent coaching. In order to enter the training, the candidate must have a Bachelors’’ Degree from an accredited university. The candidate must fill out a detailed application giving information on their education, background experience, and reasons they believe that they will make a good a parent coach. If the candidate qualities for the program, they are then interview by Gloria DeGaetano, founder of the Parent Coaching Institute, and two graduates of the Institute. Once admitted to the program, they must meet all the requirements of the program to become a Certified Parent Coach®. These requirements include the year of training and practicum mentioned above. For each of the four quarters students must complete 2-3 major papers, several shorter papers, reading of the material in the binder, and at least 2 related books. I have completed my Masters of Arts degree in early childhood education, and I can state that my training to be a Certified Parent Coach® was as comprehensive as my Masters of Arts degree.
I am also a parent and grandmother, which I do feel, does add to my skills as a parent coach. When coaching parents, I have experienced many of the situations that they are experiencing so I understand how they feel. I work with these parents to help them develop the skills and tools they wish to develop to assist them in their parenting. When working with parents, we work as partners. Parents have the expertise concerning their family and what they would like their family life to be. I work shoulder to shoulder with them to help them develop a plan that works for them and then we take it step by step to reach the goals they have for their family. In this way I assist parents to have a calmer, more peaceful, loving satisfying family situation.
I hope that this will give you and others a better picture of parent coaching and the process we go through to become Certified Parent Coaches®.
Barbara J. Bushey
PCI Certified Parent Coach®
Sunshine Parent Coaching
dirbar@ameritech.net
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