Psyche et L'Amour, cashing in the V-Card
You gotta love the Internet.
My three co-d‘s and I launched DadWagon in November with noble intentions: make earnest jokes, raise serious questions, commiserate about fatherhood in New York City and elsewhere. We hoped to get readers to drop by because they like the conversations we’re having here.
And sure enough, we’ve been getting a good amount of traffic. I thought that was because we were, you know, building community.
Actually, thanks to the merciless truth-telling of StatPress, I’ve found that at least some of our success can be chalked up to two words: Bibby Bang.
That’s the second leading search term that brings people to our site (the first is “DadWagon“). Almost a third of the people who reach us through Google do so because they are trying to get a definition for (or watch a well-lubed video of) bibby-banging.
This quest leads them to DadWagon because one of our 160+ posts was my piece about a vengeful brother who posted, on Facebook, his sister’s list of dudes she wanted to hook up with. In passing, I asked about the meaning of two terms the sister used, Bibby Bang and V-card.
Our readers came through. DadWagon friend Dan P., who has a wife and child of his own and really shouldn’t know as much as he seems to know about teen sex slang, immediately answered that “bibby bang” means “titty bang.” Fair enough; I commend the young woman’s efforts to get some without getting knocked up. V-card means virginity, as in, you turn in your V-card, which sounds a little dry and transactional to me, like passing through a tollbooth.
So there. Are you happy? Now you know what Bibby Bang and V-card mean, and you’ve come to a site written by fathers of little children to find out. Clearly, you think an Internet portal is just another truck stop glory hole.
I am not anti-democratic, though, so in order to keep our randy traffic flowing, here are a few more sex terms the 4Chan crowd might be googling (with thanks to the Nude, the Naked and the Nekkid):
Arsometry: Anal sex!
Cyesolagnia: Pregnant lady fetish!
Shitagidorobo: Japanese underwear thief!
Avisodomy: Breaking the neck of a bird while penetrating it for sex. Oh my god, do you see what the Internet has made me learn? That’s it, I’m done here.
UPDATE: Dan P. is totally right. Just looked at Nerve’s copy of the hook-up list again and sure enough, the word is titty, yet I and half the porn-crawlers on the Internet read it as Bibby Bang. So this poor girl’s flowery ‘t’ is flooding DadWagon with people looking for the definition of a slang term that doesn’t exist. Good Lord, the Internet is an odd neighborhood.
Please let me clarify what I had posted before. I just think that girl’s letter t looks like her letter b. I believe it was just a case of misreading her handwriting on your (and, apparently, others’) part. I don’t think “bibby bang” is a term for “titty bang” – just that you misread the letter t as b in “bibby”. Although now that it’s out there, you can turn “bibby bang” into something dirty – maybe a reference to sex involving an estranged father (like Mike and Henry Bibby) ?
Yes, that would be dirty. But perhaps fitting: as any Kings fan can attest, Mike Bibby really did know how to drain the long J.
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I miss being a dad of young children. It’s a career with built-in obsolescence. But my youngest is now 12, and they range up in age from there, plus some homeless teens that have lived with us on and off. Don’t let strange google entries deter you. What you do here is great. Still, how did I come to your site? I stumbled across this website as well. I was a full-time homeschooling father for many years, and I’m trying to enter the workforce again, only to find strange looks and shutting doors. I guess things are different in NYC than on the Jersey Shore. But despite my ruined prospects of employability, entering the workforce at age 47, I don’t regret my choices. I’m jumping on this bandwagon, no matter whose bibby you’re banging.
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Thanks for those answers… I’m a dad and I found this site exactly how you described: I googled v-card. I’d like to just say that it seems odd that you’ve posted this because you were recieving so much traffic about it, but then complained in it that you’ve recieved the traffic; when the post itself would generate the same traffic! Sort of like complaining about junk mail to the people who make it, by delivering a junk mail. Seems the system is working to your advantage if you’ve gotten so many hits. Instead of whining, try advertising your web site with a bit of humour so one feels invited; instead of unwelcome…
PS. I also read it bibby bang! Very informative. Cheers.