Apologies in advance to all those uninterested in the spectacle of a daddyblogger (wonderful term, that–anyone got a better one?) blogging about daddyblogging.
One of my principal conflicts when it comes to participating in this blog is determining how much of my private life to reveal. Plain truth is that I’m going through a divorce, with lawyers, and ugliness, and a fair share of hostility.
I have a son with my soon-to-be-ex, though, which requires us to cooperate on raising him. So far, we’ve been reasonably successful in separating our problems from our care for him. He seems to be a happy little dude, and far as I can tell, no major trauma has come from this disruption in our lives.
But clearly I’m not all that thrilled with his mother as a human being, and there’s a perverse satisfaction in poking fun at her here. It’s a little cowardly, as she can’t respond (she likely has no idea that the blog exists), but hey, life isn’t fair, and I’ve never used her name or provided an image of her.
All that said, potential real-life consequences could come from blogging about my ex-wife, and so at times, I’ve chosen not to write about things because I thought it could hamper the process of my divorce or cause greater conflict between the two of us.
This is one of the those times, ladies and gentlemen. My life is so crazy fucked up right now I only wish I could go up onto a rooftop with a megaphone to explain things to all and sundry. But I can’t.
I could get into all that stuff about the contemporary culture of over-sharing, or the philosophy of living openly on the Internet, but who cares? I will, however, leave readers with these two final thoughts:
1. The image above seems relevant to this post: Loose lips sink ships.
2. On a personal level, the nautical theme holds. In the timeless words of Micheal Ray Richardson, former Knick point guard and celebrated friend of the Jews, “the ship be sinking.”
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While far less weighty in implications, I myself am conflicted about whether I should post any more photos of my kid on the internet—on the blog (though I think it has three readers; not much to worry about there) and on my FB account. That stuff can’t ever be deleted and nothing is ever truly anonymous on the web, and it not only infringes on the kid’s future privacy, it’s an extension of mine. So I’ve decided that after he turns one, I am going to stop posting any photos. Prior to that, he spent a good 3-6 months looking sort of like an alien grubworm, anyway. Which is the main reason I posted photos—he was a pretty damn cute grubwork and he’s even cuter now.
Good luck with all that you are dealing with. In my opinion, it’s wise to err on the side of silence, particularly with JP’s future well-being at stake. And no one wants another Gould/Stein display of online solipsism. Not a criticism of either’s writing, btw.
Jennifer, Thanks for you comment. Yeah, we at Dadwagon have had that very conversation about photos. No real decision, some of us are okay with it, others not. I don’t post JP’s photo here, but I do have them up at FB. Not entirely coherent, but there it is. Funny thing about Stein/Gould. Josh Stein interned at Harper’s. Sharp guy, if you can believe it.
No doubt both Josh and Emily are bright young things. But that’s just it—youth tends to allow one to be impulsive and explosive and self-centered and self-destructive. I’ve been more than my share of all those things. But once there is a reason to think beyond self-interests, one’s behaviors tend to change a bit. At least, one would hope.