Is the top cop a bad dad?

Ha! That’s a trick question—they’re equally difficult!

At least, that’s according to attorney general Eric Holder, who recently told the Alliance of Concerned Men:

Each day, I’m reminded of the threats we face, and I’m charged with protecting both the safety of the American people and the strength of our justice system. As solemn and imperative as these duties are, they often seem manageable in comparison to the awesome responsibilities that I feel as the father of three children. Being a good father is every bit as demanding, and every bit as important, as being the Attorney General of the United States.

Now, I’m willing to admit being a father is pretty tricky. And being a good father is quite tough. There’ve been times when I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the day—or even through the next couple of minutes.

But you know, I’m pretty sure that my struggles with my daughter to, say, change her blown-out diaper or, one day, to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid like, um, join a gang (do they still have those?) or get pregnant—those things pale in comparison to Holder’s job. Which, as I understand it, involves issues such as: How to balance civil rights and security in an age of international terrorism? How to restore Americans’ faith in law enforcement after revelations of (pick one) incompetence, abuse of power, corruption, and politicized prosecution?

Frankly, if Holder is going to equate fatherhood and running the law-enforcement wing of the world’s last remaining superpower, then I’m not sure he understands what his job actually entails. Maybe our headline should’ve been asked during his confirmation hearings?

Or maybe I’m wrong. After all, I’ve never met his kids. They could make Khalid Sheikh Mohammed look like Tinky-Winky.