DADWAGON

Watch your wallet around this one

First birthday yesterday! The party over the weekend was sweet; our little guy was overtired at the end and didn’t sleep well last night, but all the same: awww. And I must say that baking my child’s very first birthday cake–come to think of it, his first cake, period–turned me all gooey inside. If only he knew he was having the experience, or could recall it, we’d be able to share fond memories of it someday.

Then again, we could’ve just ordered the whole event in. Because, a few weeks ago, we received a lovely reminder in the mail from Babies ‘R’ Us. (I will save my spleen-venting about B’R'U for another post. Let me just note that shopping there is about as nice as going to the DMV. In a Soviet bloc country, around 1965. Except less clean.) Anyway, they’d sent us a super-helpful checklist of ALL THE THINGS NOT TO FORGET as your child’s first birthday party approaches. Six weeks out: invitations. Closer in: registering for gifts, decorations, various other purchasables.

Did I mention that he will be physically incapable of remembering any of this? Ever?

Did I also mention that we never gave this store his birthdate? I assume they extrapolated from a baby-shower registry, a move that, frankly, carries a certain amount of horrifying risk (for starters, some baby stores have a hard time taking parents of stillborns off their chipper mailing lists).

In any case, I clearly ought to feel far more inadequate than I do, because the only decorating we did was tie a couple of balloons to tie to his chair (which he spent much of the afternoon batting around, enjoying himself immensely). Clearly, we iz doin it wrong.