Victorian poisoner Mary Ann Cotton: the original girl bully?
Ah, the hysteria.
The Boston Globe reported yesterday on girl-bullying by mostly quoting a bunch of people who are in the girl-bully-business. People like Barbara Coloroso, author of The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander (“If we don’t handle it in grade school … it only gets worse”). And Rachel Simmons, who wrote Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls (“By some accounts [bullying] happens preverbally in girls”). Or Deborah Weaver, who runs self-defense courses for tweens (“what’s different is how uninhibited it has become”).
The article also reported that hard-working Massachusetts politicians have proposed an anti-bullying bill that would oblige school employees to report acts of bullying (yay! more cops involved in schools!). There might be some legitimate complaints about whether the state legislature should really concern itself with bullying, or whether there really is an epidemic that needs to be addressed. But the article only entertains one possible objection to the bill. Namely, that it’s not tough enough:
But critics say the bill does not go far enough because it doesn’t criminalize bullying, nor can schools be held liable if they fail to protect children. “It’s a real toothless tiger,’’ says victims’ rights lawyer Wendy Murphy, who teaches at New England School of Law.
You can bet that Murphy, when looking for big payouts for bullied girls, will be citing this article and saying that [name institution here] ignored public warnings about the wave of bullying incidents.
This is all tied to the unfortunate suicide of a Massachusetts teen in January which got all buzzed up because it involved “cyberbullying” (the “teasing went digital,” Good Morning America intoned somberly at the time). Sad as that case was, it is hardly part of an epidemic: the most recent Massachusetts Department of Public Health death report (.pdf), from 2007, shows that boys were still six times more likely than girls to commit suicide, and that suicide rates for both are down significantly since the mid-’90s.
Sometimes I wish the media could say something completely true, like: people get bullied, it sucks and should be mitigated, but that, you know, it has always been that way.
I agree that the obsession with “Mean Girls” is problematic, it’s not because I don’t think bullying is a serious problem. It’s because this is not the only kind of bullying that needs attention and because no one is talking about the ways in which boys bully girls (sexual harassment and intimidation anyone?). As someone who had to leave her loving home early in order to change schools and escape constant and unrelenting bullying I can’t agree that the concerns over bullying are overblown. Moreover, “it’s always been that way” is not an argument. Yes kids have always been bullied, yes schools have always had a track record of inadequate or nonexistent response. The same could be said about domestic abuse and police response. That’s why we beef up the laws and educate enforcement to provide women with a realistic recourse when they are abused. So now that we are finally acknowledging the real impact and seriousness of bullying, in all its forms, it’s time we treat it more seriously.
One more thing. There is a difference between the stats for committing suicide and attempting suicide. Boys and men tend to use more surefire methods like guns to kill themselves while girls and women are more likely to use pills. As such way more male attempts result in death. If you’re trying to get an indication of the emotional and well being of girls vs boys (and why must we do this?) it would make more sense to look at attempted suicide, depression rates, anxiety rates etc.
Add to the list of pros at this, Rosalind Wiseman, author of “Queen Bees and Wannabees” (recently released in 2nd ed). She’s probably one of the first to claim this turf. Always good to be reminded what it was like, and to keep parents attuned to signs of bullying.
As Kristin points out, bullying is usually sorted by gender, as is everything. We have a gender sorting mania! It sometimes seems like writers on children’s issues are like a bunch of Catholic mothers, trying to out-martyr each other about who has it “harder,” boys or girls.
@Kristin That’s a good point about more effective suicide attempts for boys, but I think the fact that rates for both are down is the important part. The thing I can’t stand (and maybe I’m sensitive because I’m part of the media) is the way that every story has to be sold as a new! terrible! trend!
I’d like to read about what’s being done about bullying, and whether it’s effective, but I am not inclined to believe that it’s a new threat, or that girls are worse now than they have been in the past. Sorry you had experience with it in the past, but I think that speaks to the fact that it’s been around at least as long as you and I have, and doubtless longer.
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