DADWAGON

The Supreme Court just ruled 5-4 that minors could no longer receive life prison sentences without having actually killed someone. Surprising case on many levels, at least for me. First, I had no idea you could give a youngster a life sentence without their having killed someone, so this whole thing starts off as news to this guy. Second, it’s kinda shocking that four Supreme Court justices thought that you should be able to sentence a twelve-year-old, say, to life behind bars without that little tyke having actually blown someone away. Seems like the quintessential open-and-shut case to me, but shockingly, no one has yet made me a judge.

That said, consider remarks like these from Clarence Thomas (in dissent) as to why the Court should not have ruled as it had: “I am unwilling to assume that we, as members of this court, are any more capable of making such moral judgments than our fellow citizens,” and by “moral judgments,” he meant life and death decisions for minors, and by members of the court, he meant, well, members of the court, those specifically tasked with making those kinds of decisions. Comes with territory, Clarence, hate to break it to you.

For those following at home, please see the Harper’s Index stats on Justice Thomas, as they are funny and prove he is a schmuck, which I like. Here’s my favorite pair:

• Number of the 193 “ laughing episodes ” during Supreme Court arguments last term that were caused by Antonin Scalia: 77

• Number caused by Clarence Thomas: 0

Tells you all you need to know.

Last, I know this isn’t really a specific Bad Dads topic, except for two reasons: first, all these fucked up kids have dads that we can presume are bad (although i don’t know that we have to love them), and second, of the majority, certainly at least one Justice is a Bad Dad that I can get behind (metaphorically speaking, perverts).