The girl is not that happy in her ballet classes. They are cheap, which makes me happy, but poorly structured–she, a 4-year-old, is lumped in with mostly 3-year-olds, and that means she has a hard time making friends in the class. No friends = little motivation to go.
I’m not normally a fan of taking her feelings in too much account, but I have my own reservations about ballet. I’ve just come back from staying with a friend in Berlin who is a dancer and just had, as seemingly everyone in her dance company has had at some point, a crushing knee injury that required surgery and will keep her unemployed for months. And those with the crutches are the lucky ones–the real victims of ballet are the bulimics and anorexics who warp under the surreal body-image pressures.
OK, that’s a little heavy to put on a pre-k dance class. But still, I won’t miss her time in le monde de danse.
My wife’s suggestion? Tae kwon do.
Here, I have much more personal reasons for being wary. I did a lot of tae kwon do as a kid, an amount unique perhaps to wound-up children stuck on small islands. I once was flown to Little Rock, of all places, for a tournament and kicked a kid in the gut so hard his cup fell out of his pantleg. For this (or perhaps something else I did there) I got a trophy that was as big as I was (I was 11 at the time).
And although I don’t remember the specifics, for all the good my national award did me in real fighting, the untrained brawlers of Key West might as well have stolen the trophy from me upon my return and repeatedly clubbed me with it. That is, being good at youth tae kwon do made me horrible at schoolyard squabbling. It gave me too much confidence, so I ran my mouth, but with its fluttery kicks and emphasis on form and decorum (as opposed to, say, biting or pre-MMA chokeholds), it could do nothing to protect me. It was more dance than fight, a lesson that I learned the hard way. Repeatedly.
And then, there was the structure. Lord knows that was probably a good thing for me as I got older, but I hate to think of the rigidity of the form systems, the bowing and the dojo-this-sensei-that, on a 4-year-old. I think my girl is happier in freer environments (even though I run dinner and bedtime with a fascist efficiency).
But, as I don’t remember what it was like to be four and to dress up in pajamas and fake kick, I will open the question to you dear readers. Is tae kwon do good for 4-year-olds?
No, it isn’t. You had little success on the playground because you practiced Olympic Tae Kwon Do. It’s meant to score points, not knock someone out. There are other types of the art that are, indeed, intended for practical use. I was an instructor of Moo Duk Kwan (a form of Tae Kwon Do that is sometimes called Korean Karate). I owned an academy in Dallas for 2 years and, to make money, we taught kids as young as 5. If I had it all to do over again, I would have made the minimum age 7 or 8 instead. Kids younger than that just can’t appreciate what they’re doing, and it sorta makes a joke out of the art.
I have my boys in gymnasitcs now because so many classes have instructors that are good with little kids and can bring them along slowly. I don’t know any martial arts teachers that are good at both actually teaching a martial art and bringing along very young kids. Also, at that young age, the belt system is meaningless. I got my black belt when I was 25 and, in a separate class, there was a 12 year old with a black belt. We looked a little odd standing next to each other. 🙂
So, I agree with you. 4 is too young to start a martial art (unless you live in a monastery with Master Po). Anyway, just my two cents.
Respectfully (bows to Sa Bom Nim Keith), I disagree on the age issue. It really depends on the kid and the instructors. Lucas started Tang Soo Do at 4.5; the studio he goes to specializes in working with young kids. Of course they’re taught the forms, blocks, kicks, punches, etc. But it’s done in a fun, less rigid way than what I experienced doing Tang Soo Do at another location, with a healthy dose of (for lack of a better phrase) Life Lesson training – at the end of each class, the kids gather together and talk about how they can be better students, leaders, friends, and citizens by applying the confidence and discipline they’ve learned in class. What they don’t talk about – going out and kicking people’s asses. (And yes, when we were looking for a studio for Lucas, we did take him to a studio whose owner thought he was running Cobra Kai.) Yes, the belt system is meaningless if it’s just a gauge of skill. But to the kids, it gives them goals to shoot for, and it’s a tangible reward for their hard work in class. Again, this has been our experience, and as someone who used to work with kids, I know that it’s rare to find people who are truly good at it.
I resumed martial arts training and started doing it with him – it’s something we can do together (he’s testing for his green belt next weekend, I’m testing for my 2nd-level orange), and it’s been a lot of fun for both of us. Bottom line: he loves it, he’s good at it, and when my daughter is old enough, I’ll see if she wants to try it.
She’s 4. Why does she need to pick a sport or activity? Is it OK just to play?
I’m sorry that I can’t speak to whether it’s good specifically for 4-year olds; my son is 6 and just started it. But perhaps my own experience will give you a little more insight into another perspective.
My son was diagnosed with Asperger’s and SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder – he’s a sensory-seeking kid) when he was 3 years old. He went to a preschool for two years that was aimed at helping him with his various issues. His current school (which he started at age 5) is a “regular” public school, but he’s spent the last two years in what they call the “communications room” (what we called “special ed” when I was growing up). His issues are significantly (and I can’t make that word big enough, or underline it enough times) reduced but he still struggles with focusing, paying attention, etc. etc.
We enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do a couple months back (at age 6 1/2) because many of his cousins had gone through it, and we thought we’d give it a try (he’s also been in gymnastics, which was tougher for him because he was younger and his issues were much more prominent at the time). The classes do not emphasize form at this age; rather, they work on listening skills, focusing, self-control, and the like. They do do some kicks/punches, but it’s more to get them to remember the various kinds and how they differ from each other. And there is some “Yes, Master” that goes on, but it only happens maybe 5 times during half hour class. And his Master is a woman (as are 3 of the 4 black belts who help with the class), which I like – seeing women in a position of authority isn’t a bad thing. Also, before every class they recite (aloud) the Student Creed, which involves agreeing to use self control, common sense, and only use TKD in self-defense. These concepts are gone over during each class as well, to reinforce them.
There are about 8 kids in his class total; most of them are girls (most of them are 4 or 5 years old, and they seem to really love it), and one is a girl with Down’s Syndrome (and yes, I can’t wait until the day he realizes a girl can kick his butt ;)). So I think this class, in this school, with this teacher and these students, is great for my kid. Just like any activity, you can find a class that will be good (or bad) for any kid. But it’s incredibly important that you have that good match – otherwise, I agree that it could be a detrimental experience. Why not give it a shot? You might find that she absolutely loves it. And the confidence it gives her (a good school will nourish healthy self-confidence, while making sure the kids know their skills don’t necessarily translate to “real-world” fighting skills) could be very beneficial.
Are martial arts good or bad for kids?
Absolutely yes.
I believe it all has to do with intentions. If your intention is to create, mold, shape and launch a butt-kicking Tasmanian Devil into the world, you do not have my support.
However, if you are seeking an environment of discipline that has the lure of a positive self-image and self-reward, then a very loud YES.
I’ll side with Jason on this one, but maybe it depends on where you go. Our daughter (6) is in dance & karate at the moment. We find that the forms are complementary to the dancing. The karate studio is a national chain and are not super strict with the little ones, which I find nice (not sure if those two things are directly related). This is good for my son (almost 4) who benefits from the structure but it’s loose enough there that when he doesn’t focus he doesn’t get yelled at. I have no experience with any other martial arts studios myself, so maybe I’m making assumptions. Both kids started about eight months ago.
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