That way no one has to go to the trouble of inventing it! (don’t look too deeply into this logic–just let it flow, baby).
Ladies and gentlemen, from the fine folks at Bullet Proof Baby USA, I give you the bullet proof stroller:
Which… a rudimentary Google search just determined is a fucking fake.
Damn you, cruel world. You have foiled me again. And no, I will not explain how I ended up searching on YouTube for a bulletproof baby. That’s personal.
Just to show that I had something to offer, I will leave you with these selections from the Harper’s Index searchable archive:
Price of a bullet-resistant mink coat from Juliana Originals in New York City: $15,000
Price that a Boston-area company charges for My Child’s Pack, a bulletproof backpack: $175
Estimated number it has sold so far this school year: 1,000