I understand the evolutionary imperative that babies have to coo and smile and goo-goo-ga-ga their parents until those parents forget that they are no longer sleeping, having sex, or rock-n-rolling on any level. It’s a way to ensure that babies don’t get purposefully thrown out with, as they say, the bathwater.

But what has evolution wrought with the toddler, who remains incontinent and therefore, in my mind, should continue to be grateful to have a roof over his head? Instead of ramping up his charm offensive in the interest of self-preservation, our 2-year-old is heading in the other direction. He is beating us down, trying his best to dry the vast oceans of love we have for him, and he’s doing it through repetition. A sample conversation:

• “That way!”
• “We can’t walk that way. We are going to the park.”
• “That way!”
• “We’ll go that way later.”
• “That way!”
• “We are going to the park. To play. Most toddlers like to play.”
• “That way!” (now whining)
• “Look, Nico, a squirrel!!”
• “That way! That way!” (now moaning)
• “Argh. Hush up.”
• “That way!” (now screaming)
• *sullen silence*

Thus has he chopped away, with his “that way” axe, at the sacred child-parent bond. Thus has he made us feel like angry children ourselves. Thus has he once again proven that, even on the second child, we sometimes have no clue how to keep him or ourselves happy.

I know readers could point out some developmental reasons why a child may ask “why?” or “who dat?” to the point of physical nausea. Repetition clearly has some benefit for the young, squishy mind. But in the end, the father still has some power in this relationship. I feed him, clean him, make sure he sleeps on time. Is it too much to ask that evolution just give me a break from time to time?