It was a week of ups and downs here on the ol’ DadWagon. Christopher, for instance, began the week fretting about whether he and his family might be killed by falling tree branches, but by Thursday afternoon he’d regained enough composure to be horrified by a pregnant woman sucking in her belly.

Likewise, Nathan started off by complaining about his younger child’s incessant questioning (why, Nathan, why?), then shat all over the greatest Pixar movie ever made. At his lowest point, before he discovered his older child loves tae kwon do, he even seemed jealous of Theodore’s temporarily blessed life. Why, Nathan, why?

Me, I began the week by crowing about my successfully manly installation of an air-conditioner, at night, in my daughter’s room, without waking her. But a weird attempted mugging sent me into dizzying spirals of self-doubt, from which I took only a brief pause to question the parenting of the pseudo-spies.

Theodore, however, had the most even tempered week I think we’ve ever seen from him. From giggling at terror babies and watching his son get water-blasted to complaining about pre-K and the science of motherhood, he seemed to float effortlessly above the objects of his ire. I guess it was good to be him this week. But next week? We shall soon see how Independence Day treats him—and us all.