Look, I understand. The life of a suburban parent can be pretty boring. Weekend soccer games, brushing uncooperative teeth, PTA meetings—all add up to temptation. As the Times puts it:

Kindergarten play dates versus the tap-tap-tap of coded radio transmissions. Housework versus the “brush pass” exchange of parcels. They were described as having concealed their missions from even their closest observers.

“They,” in this case, are the alleged Russian not-so-super-spies, who were arraigned in federal court yesterday on charges of … something or other. And whatever—and whoever—they really are, they also happen to be parents.

But bad parents? It’s hard to say. Certainly, Juan José Lázaro Sr., the former Baruch College professor who supposedly said “he would not violate his loyalty to the ‘Service’ even for his son,” may not be earning marks in the loving-parent department. But it’s also possible he’s simply trying to set a good example for the boy—love by way of Omertà.

Honestly, though, it’s got to be hard to juggle dual lives as parents and secret agents. I mean, we all know how hard it is just to do the former—but imagine if your sleep was not only interrupted by an infant’s cries or toddler’s nightmares but by the need to visit a dead drop after midnight? Keeping your porn collection a secret from the kids is impossible enough, but hiding coded messages in the jpegs themselves? Good luck.