My Daughter the Bully

July 21st, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  1 Comment

Sweep the leg, so goes the line. But it’s only funny if you’re talking about The Karate Kid (the original, not the execrable remake), or if you’re talking about what a dick someone else or someone else’s child is being. But when it’s almost 10 p.m. and you turn on the baby monitor for the first time in weeks and overhear your sweet beatified daughter dropping a Cobra Kai verbal beatdown on her hapless, pudgy little brother lying in bed across the room from her, then it’s less funny and more a feeling like: Wait, can a 4-year-old girl be a dickhead? Not that I would call her that, but her conversation, let’s say, was one that an actual dickhead might enjoy having.

A snippet:

Dalia: “Don’t tell me you know more than me.”

Nico: [Unintelligible]

Dalia: ” Do you know how to do a pushup? Do you?!”

Nico: “No.”

Dalia: “Well, then, you don’t know more than me. I am not the baby here, you are the baby.”

Nico: “No.”

Dalia: “I know how to do a pushup. You go down, lift up, and then make a scary face.”

Nico: [Unintelligible]

Dalia: “Does this face I’m making scare you, Nico?! Does it?

There you have it: all our bright dreams for this sensitive and whip-smart young woman, and the moment I turn off the lights, all she really wants to do is intimidate a 2-year-old. Sigh.


Responses

  1. WeaselMomma says:

    July 21st, 2010at 8:35 am(#)

    Good luck raising that one. (As I sit and laugh remembering similar scenes play out in my home.)

Leave a Response

tips/suggestions/grievances

Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!

DadWagon

But no daycare.

Apple's New Campus Has Cutting-Edge Features That Will Amaze You | Architectural Digest

architecturaldigest.com

Steve Jobs's final vision has been realized, and it's in the form of a bold 175-acre, Foster + Partners–designed campus

May 17th 4:21pm • No Comments

On the one hand, this is a cute project. On the other, he named his daughter Madison, which is just awful.

Dad Creates Book For Daughter Who 'Didn't Want To Be Chinese'

huffingtonpost.com

His daughter doesn't have any Asian storybook heroes, so he's creating some.

May 16th 2:50pm • No Comments

Time to teach the kids how to start a fire in the Weber.

The New York Times Makes a Print Play for Kids

wwd.com

Sunday’s New York Times will include a special print section for kids.

May 11th 12:08pm • No Comments