• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

My Daughter the Bully

July 21st, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  1 Comment

Sweep the leg, so goes the line. But it’s only funny if you’re talking about The Karate Kid (the original, not the execrable remake), or if you’re talking about what a dick someone else or someone else’s child is being. But when it’s almost 10 p.m. and you turn on the baby monitor for the first time in weeks and overhear your sweet beatified daughter dropping a Cobra Kai verbal beatdown on her hapless, pudgy little brother lying in bed across the room from her, then it’s less funny and more a feeling like: Wait, can a 4-year-old girl be a dickhead? Not that I would call her that, but her conversation, let’s say, was one that an actual dickhead might enjoy having.

A snippet:

Dalia: “Don’t tell me you know more than me.”

Nico: [Unintelligible]

Dalia: ” Do you know how to do a pushup? Do you?!”

Nico: “No.”

Dalia: “Well, then, you don’t know more than me. I am not the baby here, you are the baby.”

Nico: “No.”

Dalia: “I know how to do a pushup. You go down, lift up, and then make a scary face.”

Nico: [Unintelligible]

Dalia: “Does this face I’m making scare you, Nico?! Does it?

There you have it: all our bright dreams for this sensitive and whip-smart young woman, and the moment I turn off the lights, all she really wants to do is intimidate a 2-year-old. Sigh.


  1. WeaselMomma says:

    July 21st, 2010at 8:35 am(#)

    Good luck raising that one. (As I sit and laugh remembering similar scenes play out in my home.)

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


"When we met my dad at Starbucks he said I couldn’t play with his laptop but I forgot. He also said don’t fool around with his phone but I think I FaceTimed Australia. My dad sighed and published a short piece on Medium about the challenges of raising kids in the digital age."

Alexander and the V Bad, FML Day


There was quinoa for dinner and I hate quinoa.

Mar 14th 2:07pm • No Comments

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The interrupting toddler.

The interr—

BBC Radio 1


When your Dad is live on BBC News but you just can't wait...

(Via Newsbeat)

Mar 10th 4:06pm • No Comments

"They’re both making noise—sometimes a lot. They’re kids, so they do that. It looks like you’re on a date. Are you on a date? He looks like a nice guy."

Why I Sometimes Nix The Sitter And Drag My Kids To Grown-Up Stuff


Really, it’s good for them—and kind of good for everyone else, too.

Jan 25th 11:50pm • No Comments