Sasha Needs a Doll. What Should She Get?

September 2nd, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  11 Comments

creepy AND commercial

creepy AND commercial

On Tuesday, Sasha tried to feed macaroni and cheese to a toy elephant. Then she took a plastic figurine into the bath. Clearly, this 21-month-old is learning how to treat inanimate objects as play partners, which means I have to face facts: She needs a doll of some kind, something she can identify with, name, and have accompany her through her daily life.

But what do we get? As an effete asshole, I don’t want her to get anything too commercial—no Barbie, no Bratz, no American Girl. Why not? Um, do I even need to explain? We’ve got enough Elmo problems without adding to them.

So, here are the requirements:

  • Not overly corporate.
  • Waterproof: It’s gotta be able to go in the bath without getting trashed.
  • Not expensive: I expect us to lose this thing pretty quickly.
  • Options: Clothes we can add/change.
  • Not too goddamn annoying.

What do you think?


  1. AH says:

    September 2nd, 2010at 12:52 pm(#)

    Um, anything I can think of cannot go in the bath. Maybe have a “bath only” toy?

    I hate dolls, licensed characters, the whole shee-bang, so…

    I liked the cloth Baby Stella from Manhattan Toy Co. She comes in different skin colors and has accessories:

    My girl didn’t get into the whole dressing or pretend diapering until I had my second baby. She’s 3 now, but was a little over 2 when her sister was born.

  2. Vickie says:

    September 2nd, 2010at 2:28 pm(#)

    Corolle makes nice water-safe dolls. Check out Kidsurplusdotcom, they are cheaper online.

  3. Bill says:

    September 2nd, 2010at 3:24 pm(#)

    Matt, forget the doll and just go for a box. A brown box, a white box, a colorful box, a big box, a little box, a medium size box, with or without labels….. No matter what doll goes in the box, they will always like the box better….

  4. annabelle says:

    September 2nd, 2010at 3:49 pm(#)

    “My Buddy”

  5. Matt says:

    September 2nd, 2010at 4:18 pm(#)

    @annabelle: Ha! If that thing has survived all these decades, then bring it on over. I’m sure Sasha will love it as much as Steve, Nell, and I did.

    @Bill: She’s got boxes, but she doesn’t treat them like “people.” And if she did, it would be the saddest thing in the world, a little girl talking to and dressing up and feeding a box—my god!

  6. karen says:

    September 3rd, 2010at 2:50 pm(#)

    So, um, what’s wrong with trying to feed an elephant and taking a plastic figuring into the bath? My kids never really “bonded” with a specific stuffy, blanket or doll, maybe because they had sufficient attention of their parents? Or maybe because they are mutants from another planet.

    All’s I’m saying is that if she ain’t using her words and asking for it, then it is just another piece of shit plastic that you’ve picked up from the scary biggies to teach your kid that she needs stuff.

    I’m just saying.

  7. karen says:

    September 3rd, 2010at 2:51 pm(#)

    Oh, and I flippin’ hate Bratz more than any other thing. So slutty, for such a young age. It’s not that I’m against my kids slutting up to work in a bar, when they are 19 (of age in Canuckville), it’s just that I’m not going to start programming them that way at 19 months.

    Boy am I feisty today.

  8. Matt Gross says:

    September 3rd, 2010at 2:56 pm(#)

    @Karen: There’s nothing wrong with the elephant (except it wasn’t ours) or the figurine (except that as an immobile piece of plastic, it has its limits). But there are toys out there that do provide the opportunity for imaginative play. At least, I think there are. We don’t really buy Sasha much in the way of toys, actually. Usually, she plays with sticks and twigs and boxes and such.

    In any case, we got one of those Corolle dolls—partly, I think, just to see how she reacts to it. That’s fun!

    And yes, your kids are alien mutants. Adorable, but space aliens. Tell them I said hello.

  9. Bizarro Ward says:

    September 3rd, 2010at 7:25 pm(#)

    I know you said no American Girl, but they make a baby doll too. My daughter is crazy about it, but really take her to the store and let her choose. Here’s the AG baby doll link:

  10. Kristin says:

    September 5th, 2010at 9:43 am(#)

    If you’re looking for something else, less baby more playmate, groovy girls are good. They’re fun floppy cloth dolls. There’s also Jake the Learn to dress doll for anyone who wants a boy doll.

    When I was little my mom wouldn’t buy me Barbies but I did get some as gifts. I knew that she was an “unrealistic representation of the female body” but when you ignore her boobs, have no accessories and make her clothes you have a great doll for all sorts of creative play. So, when Sasha is a bit older I recommend a doll called “Only Hearts Club.” They are roughly the same size as Barbie but they’re fairly realistic 12 year old girls rather than buxom tippy-toed adult women and they’re not all white.


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