DADWAGON

Going nuts in his hospital pjs

After having consulted our wise (if not board-certified) readers about young Nico’s surgery, we decided to do the tubes in the ears and skip the adenoidectomy.

It all went down this morning, with the improbably early arrival time of 6am at the hospital (why are surgeons such morning people?). The wife and I put on our white paper clean suits and went into the ER with Nico, who fell asleep under the cherry-scented mask with no problems. He was actually giggling a bit.

We left before they actually put the tubes in, but it was all a little unsettling for us. He was a pitiful sight on the operating table, his skin pale under the klieg lights, with electrodes on his chest and a mask on his face, surrounded by OR techs. It reminded me of ET, trapped in the clean tent with all those thuggish government scientists in hazmat suits.

So why was Nico giggling? Because of the miracles of Midazolam. They weren’t going to offer it, but fortunately my wife thought to ask for it: 3.5 ccs of Happy Juice in an oral syringe for the boy 15 minutes before going into the OR. It’s enough of a hassle in the routine, she says, that most OR’s won’t give it unprompted, and sometimes refuse to give it even if you do ask.

But if you can get your kid some of this stuff before surgery, do it. Just that little bit of that Purple Drank got Nico higher than a Juggalo. Head lolling, giggle-snorting, staring momentously at his fingertips: he was so stoned he started to make us feel high. The waiting room turned into a psychedelic lovebus. And when it came time to enter freaky-land of the OR, he was totally unfazed.

Now we’re back home and he has woken up well, if angrily. The stony times are over, and, as I’m told, we have a day or so of crankiness and whining to look forward to until he gets completely comfortable. Also, no swimming for the next 18 months or so. But in all, a good result, and most likely an upcoming winter without ear infections.

If he does get more ear infections, though, I’m skipping the antibiotics and going straight back to the Midazolam.