Fairway: Is Nothing Sacred?

September 27th, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  5 Comments


For those of you who don’t live in New York City, the possessiveness that local residents can feel about Fairway won’t compute. For those who do, please get a tissue before reading this: lox trimmings.

The Fairway in Brooklyn, in particular, is a kind of parent wonderland. Located in Red Hook, right on the water, it opens early, has a cafeteria that serves excellent, cheap breakfast, and has an outdoor—and heated—dining area on a back deck with a view of the Hudson River, the Verrazzano Bridge, and the Statue of Liberty. At the risk of over-pimping for a profit-making venture, but taking JP to the Fairway for groceries and breakfast is a highlight of my parenting week. He can eat, he shout, he can run around, and I can finish a chore, all at the same time.

My only problem came this weekend when I ran into JP’s mother and her partner doing their own shopping … at the same time as me! This would decidedly not be what I call a good time. No fun making small talk with my ex, chuckling as she inquires after my girlfriend’s impending parenthood, and watching JP fill to the brim with confusion, all while the just-baked bagels get bought by some other undeserving parent.

It’s almost enough to make a man turn to C-Town. Almost.


  1. annabelle says:

    September 27th, 2010at 3:37 pm(#)

    Let me be the first to tell you that you live in Brooklyn and the river you see from the deck at the Red Hook Fairway is the EAST RIVER!

  2. dadwagon says:

    September 27th, 2010at 3:56 pm(#)

    Annabelle–Let me first start by saying that this site is factchecked by a drunk, blind, two-fingered intern, and by all of our children, none of whom, I believe, can yet read (unless Dahlia can). Next, I will admit to getting it wrong. It’s not the Hudson River. But it’s not the East River, either. Fairway is at the end of Van Brunt street in Red Hook, which would put it well south of the mouth of the East River. Depending on your preference for things, I guess it would be the Upper Bay (which I imagine is Hudson Bay) or perhaps Gowanus Bay. If you wanted to get really picky, the Statue, which is to my right on the deck at Fairway, and which is what I spend most of my time looking at when I river gaze at Fairway, is either in Upper Bay, or the Hudson, I suppose, but pretty clearly not the East River. All that said, I’m not cartographer, nor am I an East or Hudson River cheerleader. It’s a confusing spot, frankly, and saying Red Hook doesn’t help, as it kinda juts out into a bunch of different waterways. I wonder, though, now that I write this, what is the water that runs between Red Hook (not on the Fairway side, but to the northeast), is that East River (it looks like its past the terminus of the river) or is that Upper Bay? Perhaps we need a surveyor to settle the issue. Love the close reading–Theodore.

  3. stormsweeper says:

    September 27th, 2010at 4:21 pm(#)

    Hudson Bay is a completely different thing in Canada. That Hudson guy got around.

    Red Hook overlooks New York Harbor, which is now technically called Upper New York Bay for some reason.

  4. dadwagon says:

    September 27th, 2010at 4:26 pm(#)

    Thank you, stormersweeper! –Theodore

  5. karen says:

    September 28th, 2010at 12:20 pm(#)

    My friend has a magnet on her coffeemaker that she sees every morning as she pours her coffee. It sets her up for the day and will until the intensity of her (recent) breakup (his asshole choice, she had fucking cancer) eases. They share 2 young kids, grades 1 and 2, so she sees him plenty and will for a while. Here’s what the magnet says:

    “Ran into my Ex…Put it in reverse and hit him again.”

    hope that helps. I’d send you a magnet but I never mail anything! Too phobic.

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