DADWAGON

From the Times, in an article called “Green, but Still Guilty”:

Mr. Dorfman, 38, and Ms. Holzen, 35, use natural cleaning products, and are “constantly” drinking out of their Brita pitcher, so there is no need for disposable water bottles. All their personal-care products are organic, and Mr. Dorfman’s clothes are made from organic cotton and recycled materials — including his Nau blazer, which, he said, is made from recycled soda bottles.

But they have one great greenie flaw: they are addicted to disposable diapers.

“We tried cloth and think it’s totally unrealistic,” Mr. Dorfman said. Like the rest of America, he said, they have gravitated toward disposable diapers “and that’s really environmentally sinful. It’s plastic derived from petroleum. You use them once and then they get tossed in a landfill. It’s a terribly inefficient use of natural resources.

“Not only do I feel guilt, I feel hypocritical. But it’s the most functional diapers we’ve found. They keep my son dry. They don’t irritate his skin. They don’t clump up and get really heavy. They happen to work the best, and that’s annoying.”

The couple have found a way to lessen their pain — though it may be tricky for those without the lightning reflexes of a stuntwoman-turned-mom.

“Because we feel guilty about using disposable diapers, we’ve begun practicing ‘elimination communication,’ ” Mr. Dorfman explained in an e-mail. “What this means is that we pay close attention to Shep to determine when he’s about to pee or poop and then race to the shower so that he doesn’t soil his diaper so we can use it longer. We’ve actually gotten pretty good at reading the signs.”

First, I’d like to mention that this couple named their child Shep, just so you know who we’re dealing with here. Dad is the author of “The Lazy Environmentalist: Your Guide to Easy, Stylish, Green Living,” and his wife is a former stuntwoman. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And I have nothing against elimination communication, or whatever potty strategies people come up with. Whatever works for you and your family–it’s up to you.

But let’s ponder the mindset that believes that their impact on the environment is so significant that they orient all factors of their lives around in it–but one. Further, that the one factor they fail to include in their worldview doesn’t involve their behavior but that of their infant child (whom they named Shep). Thus, the one person who is required to alter his or her behavior is that child, not the parents who have chosen to orient their lives around their massive impact on global forces of nature.

Holy shit!