• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

My Kid Is Better Than Yours

November 2nd, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  2 Comments

Sasha's classroom—till next week.

Sasha's classroom—till next week.

Yesterday, when I went to pick Sasha up from day care, the school’s director, Ms. Zoe, cornered me in the hallway outside the classroom and said she wanted to talk. Maybe I should sit down.

Oh, fuck, I thought, who did Sasha bite?

No one, it turned out. Instead, Ms. Zoe told me, with Sasha’s 2nd birthday about six weeks away, we should get ready for her to move up a class—and, in fact, if we wanted to move her early, there would be a spot opening up next week.

Um, yes! I can’t begin to describe to you the waves of joy that seized me, and not only because we’ll now be spending $100 less per month to warehouse our daughter in Chinatown. See, Sasha is one of three kids of almost exactly the same age in her class—the others being her friends Paige and Caterina—but Sasha’s selection as the first to ascend to the 2-year-old class irrefutably demonstrates that she’s ahead of her peers. In other words, Sasha is better, smarter, and more able to follow directions. She fucking rocks. And now, at last, I understand New York parents a little better: From a distance, all that competition looks and feels weird, unseemly, but once your in the thick of it, you can’t help but hope your little precious will best her schoolmates. And when it happens—awesome! I’m thinking of buying a bumper sticker.


  1. Didactic Pirate says:

    November 2nd, 2010at 6:31 pm(#)

    I remember receiving the same news, and feeling the same way. I’m not proud of it, but I totally felt like my kid won the Awesome Contest that day.


    High Art and Low Children | DADWAGON

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!



The Right Way to Swear in Front of Your Kids


Context, context, context.

Sep 19th 2:33pm • No Comments

I don't care. EAT IT ANYWAY, KID!

‘Five Second Rule’ for Food on Floor Is Untrue, Study Finds


Researchers concluded that no matter how fast you pick up food that falls on the floor, you will pick up bacteria with it.

Sep 19th 11:38am • No Comments


Why Danish Parents Like to Talk About Death


It's because it makes for happier kids, says new book.

Aug 11th 8:19am • No Comments

Not sure whether to be proud or pissed we didn't make this list.

The Awl

The definitive ranking of dads.

Aug 3rd 5:39pm • No Comments