I know we like to gripe about our gripey colleague Theodore, but the man is unusually devoted to his craft. He is not only writing a book about Crypto-Jews; he actually helped create one yesterday.
We don’t know her full name, but we are pretty sure her first name is Ellie.
We believe all went well with the C-section because we got a text message to that effect yesterday.
We don’t know what she looks like, but we do believe that Jews and Asians make cute babies.
We also know, from having toiled for a year alongside Theodore in the salt mine that is fatherhood, that this girl could not wish for a finer father (we think pretty highly of his girlfriend, too).
The DadWagon family has expanded by one, and we couldn’t be happier. Mazel Tov and Omedetou to you both.