Okay, it’s been a couple of days now since the election, and I’ve had a chance to collect my thought(s). This isn’t entirely the right forum for this, but I’ll bend my argument around back to parenting eventually. And so:
Frankly, none of this was surprising in the slightest. You could tell for months, maybe more than a year, that this was building up. I didn’t get worked up beforehand, and when the results came down I shrugged. Or I would’ve shrugged—I was asleep by 9:30 p.m. Tuesday night.
Some people, though, are still asking: Why? Why did this happen? Why, when the president (okay, the government) actually managed to accomplish some important and useful goals over the past two years, did the people rebel? What do they want from him, anyway?
Well, I’ll tell you the answer(s). They don’t want anything from him. All they want—all anyone wants anymore—is to be an asshole. A jerk. We Americans love acting like shitheads and being negative about anything there is to be negative about. Blogs are founded on the principal; so are political parties. We want to make bad jokes at the expense of others, and get pissed off when people do the same to us. Fuck kids getting bullied—we’d rather be the bullies. It’s more fun, cuz you get to kick the shit out of the spazzes.
Oh, you say, then how did we all climb on the Hope and Change bandwagon a couple years back? Didn’t that show we can be optimistic and positive?
Yeah, right. That was just us all being negativistic assholes to the previous guys. The only way to really hurt Bush & Co. was to elect someone like Obama in their place. That was some high-level assholery, wasn’t it? We do that shit real well in this country, although we’ve started outsourcing some of it to China.
But for now, this is what it’s all about: laughing and sneering and stomping on people’s heads (and then demanding apologies); saying no and sticking our fingers in our ears; ignoring not just scientific results but the whole theoretical framework behind science (a.k.a. the scientific method) because we assume scientists are just as big assholes as we are; and, overall, rejecting anything and everything, no matter if it might improve our lives, just because we can, and because it might seem sort of funny to watch the other guy squirm. We are the tantrum-throwing babies everyone says we are, and we’ll do anything we can not to grow up.
Which is why, I’m sure, at some point I’ll take Jean and Sasha and flee not just for the suburbs but for some other country’s suburbs, so my kid can at least learn to say asshole in another language.