On the Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure

November 11th, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Dad + Gadget = Fail  |  8 Comments

Almost as soon as the controversy began, it ended… with Amazon’s apparent capitulation. The controversy, of course, is about the bluntly named Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover’s Code of Conduct by Philip R. Greaves II, which as fellow dad-blogger Ron Mattocks pointed out when he tipped us to it, had risen to #97 in Kindle sales, just above the Bible.

I would like to think that he didn’t just point it out to us because we are pederasts or because many of you fine readers only find our site through Googling child sex acts (for the record, we use lots of foul language, but this is a non-sexual, barely deviant blog, ok?)

There’s plenty to say about Mr. Greaves’ completely bizarre quest to show the orderly side of pedophilia, and more yet to say about the difficulties of censorship. But for now, because I have a parade to catch and some veterans to thank, I would like to say this: don’t gloat too much.

It may be a good thing that the blogosphere reared up on its hindlegs and showed some fang over this book. The backlash over the title had the desired effect on Amazon. But before everyone gives each other high-fives, remember that child abuse is primarily not learned from books. It is not the invention of anonymous Internet predators. It predates the Kindle by about 10,000 years, give or take.

What child abuse is: a crime of cowards, usually known to their victims, usually part of the family circle. A father, stepfather, boyfriend of the aunt. And that means that child abuse has to be combatted, really, the way Israel protects its airplanes. You can’t ban every book or shutter every NAMBLA meetup, just as Israel can’t stop every bomb from being assembled in some apartment somewhere. But you can do what their airport security does: interrogate. Get to know the men (and women) who will have time with your children alone. And teach your children to be their own best defenders. Let them know they always can say no, that they can always talk about anything with you, their parent.

You can’t keep Philip R. Greaves II and people like him off the Internet. But you can keep them out of your lives.


Responses

  1. Bethany says:

    November 11th, 2010at 2:31 pm(#)

    Thank you for writing this. I found your blog via Pacing the Panic Room. I have been so angered by the book referenced, and you completely put into words what I wish was being said elsewhere. One cannot be too careful about who has access to one’s children.

  2. A Daddy Blog says:

    November 11th, 2010at 2:47 pm(#)

    “Get to know the men (and women) who will have time with your children alone. And teach your children to be their own best defenders. Let them know they always can say no, that they can always talk about anything with you, their parent. You can’t keep Philip R. Greaves II and people like him off the Internet. But you can keep them out of your lives.”

    Well said! Thanks for writing this.

    –Michael (aka: http://adaddyblog.com)

  3. Accidents says:

    November 11th, 2010at 3:33 pm(#)

    “It may be a good thing that the blogosphere reared up on its hindlegs and showed some fang over this book. The backlash over the title had the desired effect on Amazon. But before everyone gives each other high-fives, remember that child abuse is primarily not learned from books. It is not the invention of anonymous Internet predators. It predates the Kindle by about 10,000 years, give or take.”

    Exactly. I want to shout EXACTLY.

    While I agree Amazon is a private business, not the Library of Congress, and thus doesn’t necessarily need to take as rigid a stand against censorship, I still can’t get behind book-banning. While we’ve learned in recent weeks the Internet is not “in the public domain” we seem to be un-learning that when it comes to the Internet and media in general, it’s our choice to critique, to comment on, or to LOOK AWAY, but not to ban/eradicate texts.

    And, look, that book isn’t going to be the origin story of a generation of child abusers. That the media “makes” you is actually as dangerous an idea as believing its neutral/inert.

  4. Nathan says:

    November 11th, 2010at 5:07 pm(#)

    “look, that book isn’t going to be the origin story of a generation of child abusers. That the media “makes” you is actually as dangerous an idea as believing its neutral/inert”

    Exactly, back at ya. Thanks for the comments, folks. Sometimes hype and hysteria can distract from the real dangers…

  5. Spencer says:

    November 11th, 2010at 5:41 pm(#)

    Thanks for the reminder of the _real_ dangers, Nathan. Books can be scary (you’ve read parts of book #98, right?) but it is people’s actions that cause real problems. And that includes righteous indignation, censorship, and true evil.

  6. Clark Kent's Lunchbox says:

    November 12th, 2010at 2:25 pm(#)

    Of all the posts out there, and I’ve read too effin’ many, this is the first to mention the bigger reality. There’s a site people can go to that allows you to plug in your zip code and it brings up a map marking the location of all the registered sex offenders in a designated radius. Biggest surprise to me: There were very few listed near where I lived in downtown Houston, but in the relatively affluent master-planned community where my kids lived with my ex, there were an ASS-load of them–some right around the corner.

    Not going to comment on the whole Amazon policy thing, but I’m trying to get a line on the Catholic Church’s take on the book.

    PS. That Mattocks guy sounds like a pushy lil’ prick.

  7. Jack says:

    November 12th, 2010at 5:12 pm(#)

    It is worth noting that it never hurts to be reminded of the dangers that lurk out there. I don’t mean that we should live our lives in fear, but it is worth talking to our children about boundaries and what is appropriate more than once.

    In some ways it is even more important to speak to the kids who are a bit older- especially the teenagers. We have to keep the lines of communication open.

  8. dadwagon says:

    November 12th, 2010at 7:30 pm(#)

    Beware the suburbs! Beware the pushy lil pricks!

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