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Today in Awesome Things that Actually Exist

December 13th, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Miscellany

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promise I’ll actually do some, like, real writing here soon. Soon! Later today even! But first you have to see this awesomeness:

SexyBandz!! Just in time for Christmas!

The scene: two hot young coeds—we know this because they are on a campus somewhere—talk breathlessly over excellent third-rate porno music about the “new craze for adults only” … because why should kids get to have all the fun? Indeed. Craze.

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Totally. I can’t tell you how many grownups I see breathing sexily on the subway talking about their boob-shaped rubber wrist bands.

Anyway. Then some dude walks up with his own SexyBandz (“look at those sexy shapes! They’re hottttt!”) and obviously they all retire to his frat house for a three-way.

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when I was in college, my whole life would be different today.


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