I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count all the kiddie birthday parties I’ve been to of late, but suffice it to say, the con artists at the Norwegian-organic-brain-toy store up the block will be eating steak this New Year, on me.
As I go to these parties I’ve begun to notice a disturbing trend:
Thank you cards. From the birthday boy. Clearly written by said child’s mother. Who has clearly lost her freaking mind.
Why in the world would you send a thank you note for a child’s birthday party? To whom are you teaching manners? Not your kid. If it was your kid, then I’d see his four-year-old scrawl on that little bit of Hallmark-ian frippery you’ve mailed to me. Not my kid, either–because he can’t read, and has no way to understand what a thank you card could be, other than a veiled insult directed at his father, who begins cursing each time he sees one.
There is no need to thank my child for a ten buck gift for your child that my child didn’t choose and which my child angrily demanded not to give to your child in the car on the way to your child’s party because my child wanted to keep it for himself and couldn’t understand why it couldn’t be his birthday today and not your child’s.
No need whatsoever. Now cease and desist. Immediately.