DadWagon Mentality

I can’t tell if this comes through in the posts of late, but now seems to be a bit of a winter of discontent for the DadWagoneers. Could have something to do with the lovely, steel-grey New York weather, or the fact that the blog keeps plugging along without making any of us into Steven Spielberg or Ferran Adria, or the fact that we have yet to find a suitably misguided replacement for our Christopher, who decamped for greener pastures (he’s writing a book on instant cameras). Hell, maybe it’s all of those things, or none.

Either way, at the risk of offending my fellow DadWagoners, felt that this week was a bit of a grind. Take Matt. His contributions included: a veiled implication that his wife has OCD; complaints that his daughter has no idea what his name is (combined with the admission that he calls his wife Mom); he also recommended having his own personal voodoo doll crafted by a Canadian artisan. I’m sorry, Matt–do you need help of a more professional sort to escape those blues?

And Nathan, well, I wouldn’t say he’s been quite as dark as Matt, mostly because he’s still in Florida, drinking pina coladas and wearing his Jimmy Buffett skinsuit. And yet, doesn’t he seem a bit grouchy, when he complains about poor urban planning in Key West? Or when he registers his complaints about the totally sensible, completely efficient, and utterly progressive travel-documentation practices of this fair nation of ours? Then he just fucked off to play with his Lego-art.

All I did was whine, complain, and moan. How come women think they love their children more than me? Tell me Jonathan Franzen! And what could be more miserable than begrudging one’s offspring some security when you’re in the afterlife savoring the many virgin’s you’ve earned? And then, when it seems I couldn’t sink any lower, I took an unsolicited and undeserved swipe at Matt’s ability to play nice with other bloggers. Shame!

Actually, you know what? That seems just about normal in these parts. Sorry. We’re always bitter, sick fucks around here.

Next week we promise to write more about high-quality diaper products and roses. See you then and enjoy the weekend.