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The Day of No Tears: A Fantasy

January 10th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  5 Comments

tears3bwThe day begins like any other: We wake up around 7, lift Sasha from her bed, and plunk her down in the living room with a warm bottle of milk while we get dressed. Nor does anything seem unusual on the subway—on a fortuitously empty F train, Sasha sits calmly on Jean’s lap, except for a brief tap-dancing session between Jay Street and York Street. Preschool drop-off is as uneventful as preschool pickup 9 hours later, and the Chinese-bakery bun Sasha munches on not only occupies her attention on the train home but fuels a three-block sprint home. Playtime, bath, toothbrushing, and a double reading of “Knuffle Bunny“—who’d noticed anything unusual? It’s only when Jean and I put Sasha back in the bed, coax her to lie down, and drape a blanket over her that we realize: She hasn’t cried all day—not one single solitary salty tear! Truly this is a joyous occasion!

Except, of course, it hasn’t happened. At least, not yet. It will one day—it has to. And I have a feeling when it does, we won’t even notice.

But I am increasingly curious about when this hallowed day might arrive. Is it a 2-year-old thing? A 5-year-old thing? Am I foolish to look forward to the Day of No Tears? Am I overly obsessing about the importance of not-crying?


  1. Christopher says:

    January 10th, 2011at 12:30 pm(#)

    Think of it this way: A tendency toward weepiness qualifies her to be Speaker of the House.

  2. CuteMonsterDad says:

    January 10th, 2011at 1:00 pm(#)

    Tears will remain part of the mix for years to come. Only the when and how will change. And yes, weepiness now seems to be a prerequisite for Speaker of the House. JImmy Swaggart should have run for office.

    Vincent | CuteMonster.com

  3. Jeff Doshna says:

    January 10th, 2011at 1:22 pm(#)

    No, you won’t notice it. At least, I have no specific memory of when that happened for each my three sons. It will happen when she has enough of a vocabulary (be it verbal or otherwise) that she can communicate all of her needs, wants and emotions for that day without the tears.

  4. Matt says:

    January 10th, 2011at 1:52 pm(#)

    And that’s when I’ll start asking, “When will my daughter finally shut up?”

  5. karen says:

    January 10th, 2011at 4:13 pm(#)

    Laughing hysterically.

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