• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

The Day of No Tears: A Fantasy

January 10th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  5 Comments

tears3bwThe day begins like any other: We wake up around 7, lift Sasha from her bed, and plunk her down in the living room with a warm bottle of milk while we get dressed. Nor does anything seem unusual on the subway—on a fortuitously empty F train, Sasha sits calmly on Jean’s lap, except for a brief tap-dancing session between Jay Street and York Street. Preschool drop-off is as uneventful as preschool pickup 9 hours later, and the Chinese-bakery bun Sasha munches on not only occupies her attention on the train home but fuels a three-block sprint home. Playtime, bath, toothbrushing, and a double reading of “Knuffle Bunny“—who’d noticed anything unusual? It’s only when Jean and I put Sasha back in the bed, coax her to lie down, and drape a blanket over her that we realize: She hasn’t cried all day—not one single solitary salty tear! Truly this is a joyous occasion!

Except, of course, it hasn’t happened. At least, not yet. It will one day—it has to. And I have a feeling when it does, we won’t even notice.

But I am increasingly curious about when this hallowed day might arrive. Is it a 2-year-old thing? A 5-year-old thing? Am I foolish to look forward to the Day of No Tears? Am I overly obsessing about the importance of not-crying?


  1. Christopher says:

    January 10th, 2011at 12:30 pm(#)

    Think of it this way: A tendency toward weepiness qualifies her to be Speaker of the House.

  2. CuteMonsterDad says:

    January 10th, 2011at 1:00 pm(#)

    Tears will remain part of the mix for years to come. Only the when and how will change. And yes, weepiness now seems to be a prerequisite for Speaker of the House. JImmy Swaggart should have run for office.

    Vincent | CuteMonster.com

  3. Jeff Doshna says:

    January 10th, 2011at 1:22 pm(#)

    No, you won’t notice it. At least, I have no specific memory of when that happened for each my three sons. It will happen when she has enough of a vocabulary (be it verbal or otherwise) that she can communicate all of her needs, wants and emotions for that day without the tears.

  4. Matt says:

    January 10th, 2011at 1:52 pm(#)

    And that’s when I’ll start asking, “When will my daughter finally shut up?”

  5. karen says:

    January 10th, 2011at 4:13 pm(#)

    Laughing hysterically.

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


Do you show this to your kids?

AP Images

An unnamed gunman gestures after shooting the Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrei Karlov, at a photo gallery in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, Dec. 19, 2016. Turkish police shot and killed the gunman, Turkish station NTV reported. Russia's ambassador to Turkey has died after being shot in Ankara, according to Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman. #APPhoto by Burhan Ozbilici

Story developing: http://apne.ws/2hRY0rH

Dec 19th, 2016 7:32pm • No Comments

"They watch their mothers and fathers overdose and die on the bathroom floor. They live without electricity, food or heat when their parents can’t pay the bills. They stop going to school, and learn to steal and forage to meet their basic needs."

The Children of the Opioid Crisis


Left behind by addict parents, tens of thousands of youngsters flood the nation’s foster-care system; grandparents become moms and dads again

Dec 16th, 2016 2:11pm • No Comments

Don't forget the gift receipt(s)!

A Gift for Every Type of Dad (That You Can Buy on Amazon)


Including cricket-flour protein bars, ice-cold beer chillers, and an air fryer that uses hardly any oil.

Dec 9th, 2016 3:27pm • No Comments

As Ryu Spaeth pointed out, the only thing worse than "Papa" is the pronunciation "paPA." PERISH THE THOUGHT.


“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5.

Nov 30th, 2016 5:20pm • 1 Comment