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Like the Most Miniscule Drag Queen

January 11th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  2 Comments

So a send-up of horrible momblogging is low-hanging fruit, but I dig this mockery on Urlesque because it’s not afraid to get weird. Behold the World’s Worst Mommy Blogger (a Parody), written by Tess Lynch, cooing over her newborn.

I love to look at Little Harrison while he’s sleeping. I just think…he’s so small, so perfect, and so innocent. His little tiny fingers swatting at his eyebrow tape, little precious digits smearing the mustache we drew on his upper lip, tiny lipsticked mouth making all sorts of different expressions like the most miniscule drag queen.

I just sit there for hours, my finger pushing his nose to the side, reapplying his eyeliner, singing him my favorite Kate Bush tracks. I wonder what he dreams of: probably just my face, telling him all about the faults of his siblings and of all the things I gave up to become a mother. We got him the silliest mobile that explains how chickens are processed!

Ok, you may return to your own blogs now.


Responses

  1. Didactic Pirate says:

    January 11th, 2011at 6:09 pm(#)

    Listen. I swore recently that I’d catch up the blogs I already follow before committing to any new ones. And then you post this. And it’s hilarious. So I go the site, thinking I’ll just read for a few minutes. Next thing you know, I look up and my work day is over.

    Sheesh, guys. You trying to get me fired?

  2. Nathan says:

    January 12th, 2011at 2:00 am(#)

    Ha. Our evil plan to cost you your job has been revealed. Studies show that the unemployed read more blogs.

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