So a send-up of horrible momblogging is low-hanging fruit, but I dig this mockery on Urlesque because it’s not afraid to get weird. Behold the World’s Worst Mommy Blogger (a Parody), written by Tess Lynch, cooing over her newborn.

I love to look at Little Harrison while he’s sleeping. I just think…he’s so small, so perfect, and so innocent. His little tiny fingers swatting at his eyebrow tape, little precious digits smearing the mustache we drew on his upper lip, tiny lipsticked mouth making all sorts of different expressions like the most miniscule drag queen.

I just sit there for hours, my finger pushing his nose to the side, reapplying his eyeliner, singing him my favorite Kate Bush tracks. I wonder what he dreams of: probably just my face, telling him all about the faults of his siblings and of all the things I gave up to become a mother. We got him the silliest mobile that explains how chickens are processed!

Ok, you may return to your own blogs now.