February 2nd, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  2 Comments

I’m not about to file a post staking out a position on the “natural” personality traits of boys and girls—that’s bad juju. I will say, based on anecdotal evidence alone, that boys do seem to have a penchant for trains and smashing things, and girls miraculously gravitate toward, well, other things. I’m only now really being introduced to the world of young girl-dom, and my “unassailable evidence” about how they think and behave is rather shallow.

I do, however, have plenty of half-baked theories! One of them relies on a fairly simplistic dichotomy of biological destiny: girls, up to say, 9, are humans, only in miniature; boys, meanwhile, up to around 25, are, in fact, wild animals, a drooling combination of ferret, sloth, wombat, and feral dog.

How this plays out with the young ones, in my highly scientific worldview, relates to sleep. JP, beast of the field, was so inordinately filled with the animalistic urges that he simply refused to take any rest. Crying, squirming, yelling, and fleeing from cribs at the soonest opportunity—making for the woods—was his thing. Ellie, meanwhile, a pint-size version of a female human, takes her slumber seriously. Last night, for example, she went to bed at about 6:45—a polite hour that allowed Tomoko and I to actually eat dinner together while talking—and didn’t wake up until 5:30 in the morning.

This meant that Tomoko and I got a full night’s sleep, which, as most parents know, is a rare and precious gem that colors that world a lovely rosy hue of really nice. JP, who spent the night at his mother’s, I imagine passed most of the evening trying to force a chicken bone through his septum. What do you think his mother’s mood is like this morning?

I bet it ain’t rosily hued anything.

Please direct all I’m-a-sexist comments to Nathan. He handles complaints.


  1. CuteMonsterDad says:

    February 2nd, 2011at 12:23 pm(#)

    I have to agree with you about the dichotomy although the levels of said dichotomy are relative. My daughter can outsleep a hibernating grizzly bear. On the other hand, she can also be the catalyst of mayhem. Did I mention she packs a punch? All in a tidy little 2 year old package. My son falls more into the “no time for sleep I want to play” category. There is no off switch. I’ve checked. Often. At 4 he’s exhibiting all the traits of a frat house bred CEO. My wife and I can recall sleep ended late last decade. And so it goes.

    Vincent |

  2. karen says:

    February 2nd, 2011at 9:02 pm(#)

    I’m putting it to birth order myself …

    First kid: Girl: didn’t sleep much as a baby … some days went ALL FING DAY not sleeping and then DIDN’T SLEEP ALL NIGHT AS WELL. Yeesh.

    Kid two: Girl: we were well prepared. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution. Twice. We knew how to shush and swaddle and bounce and … Put her down! Put her down! We’d put her down, and she’d stop crying and be out like a light.

    Kid three: Boy: Sleeps. Like a log. When put down for nap? Slept. Like log. When put down at night. Sleeps. Like a … yep. Emmingeffing log.

    Seriously, the girls still don’t go to sleep at night the way that boy crashes.

    So … Whilst I don’t give a rat’s ass about sexual stereotyping (hey, selling shooters and wearing cleavage, long curly hair and stiletto heels made me a LOT of DOSH in the ’90s) I think you’re overthinking this one.

    Oh, and I’m the third girl of four. I could never get my ass to bed, and read under the covers till beyond sundown, even as a small child. So … I think birth order is a bunch of bunk too, at least with the sleep thing. You get what you get. In my hairy opinion.

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