I’m not about to file a post staking out a position on the “natural” personality traits of boys and girls—that’s bad juju. I will say, based on anecdotal evidence alone, that boys do seem to have a penchant for trains and smashing things, and girls miraculously gravitate toward, well, other things. I’m only now really being introduced to the world of young girl-dom, and my “unassailable evidence” about how they think and behave is rather shallow.
I do, however, have plenty of half-baked theories! One of them relies on a fairly simplistic dichotomy of biological destiny: girls, up to say, 9, are humans, only in miniature; boys, meanwhile, up to around 25, are, in fact, wild animals, a drooling combination of ferret, sloth, wombat, and feral dog.
How this plays out with the young ones, in my highly scientific worldview, relates to sleep. JP, beast of the field, was so inordinately filled with the animalistic urges that he simply refused to take any rest. Crying, squirming, yelling, and fleeing from cribs at the soonest opportunity—making for the woods—was his thing. Ellie, meanwhile, a pint-size version of a female human, takes her slumber seriously. Last night, for example, she went to bed at about 6:45—a polite hour that allowed Tomoko and I to actually eat dinner together while talking—and didn’t wake up until 5:30 in the morning.
This meant that Tomoko and I got a full night’s sleep, which, as most parents know, is a rare and precious gem that colors that world a lovely rosy hue of really nice. JP, who spent the night at his mother’s, I imagine passed most of the evening trying to force a chicken bone through his septum. What do you think his mother’s mood is like this morning?
I bet it ain’t rosily hued anything.
Please direct all I’m-a-sexist comments to Nathan. He handles complaints.