• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

Send Help: It’s just me and Ellie!

February 3rd, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  1 Comment

One of the potential upsides and drawbacks of my new career as an impending homeless person is that I am now available/able/required to spend more time with my little baby, Ellie. Tomoko still has another month or so of maternity leave, but she is, sad to say, entitled to perhaps just a moment or two of alone time now that I don’t have to be to work each day.

In this light, Tomoko is stealing a few hours in the middle of the day today to venture out into the world. Her goal, laudable if painful for me personally, is try to remember what it was like when she was an actual human and not a milking machine.

Which means it’s just me and Ellie. Alone. In the house. With nothing to do. I keep reminding myself that such moments are among the joys of parenting, the true precious moments, an opportunity to bond, to love, to share…blech.

Let’s get this out in the open: little babies aren’t all that much fun. What do they do? How can they entertain me? Can they discuss the finer things in life (without drooling?) Can they fix me snacks? Can they crack a joke, crack open a beer, crack wise, uh, walk the dog?

Some of them, in fact, most of them, seem to want it the other way around. They want me to do things for them. Feeding, if they get hungry, which they often do; changing of dirty undergarments (which you think they’d look after themselves); entertaining–what’s with the shaking of rattles thing? I’d rather just watch SportsCenter and scratch myself; and then, if I’m lucky, really, really, lucky–they get to go to sleep.

Who comes out ahead in this deal? Not this guy.

Which is why I’ve already reached out to a couple of homebound friends to see if I can lure them to my place to entertain me. I’ve done this, mind you, under totally false premises (“It’s been a while. Let’s catch up. How are you?”)

I’m sure they won’t mind if they discover my ulterior motives (one of them is Matt; think he reads this blog?). Hell, both of them have children that they are stuck with on a miserable, frozen, snowy, nasty, slushy day.

A thought occurs to me, if they say yes, and come by, is it only to have me entertain them?

An economy of needs–nice.



    Our Favorite Kids: Filthy, Brainy, Not Actually Our Own | DADWAGON

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


Do you show this to your kids?

AP Images

An unnamed gunman gestures after shooting the Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrei Karlov, at a photo gallery in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, Dec. 19, 2016. Turkish police shot and killed the gunman, Turkish station NTV reported. Russia's ambassador to Turkey has died after being shot in Ankara, according to Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman. #APPhoto by Burhan Ozbilici

Story developing: http://apne.ws/2hRY0rH

Dec 19th, 2016 7:32pm • No Comments

"They watch their mothers and fathers overdose and die on the bathroom floor. They live without electricity, food or heat when their parents can’t pay the bills. They stop going to school, and learn to steal and forage to meet their basic needs."

The Children of the Opioid Crisis


Left behind by addict parents, tens of thousands of youngsters flood the nation’s foster-care system; grandparents become moms and dads again

Dec 16th, 2016 2:11pm • No Comments

Don't forget the gift receipt(s)!

A Gift for Every Type of Dad (That You Can Buy on Amazon)


Including cricket-flour protein bars, ice-cold beer chillers, and an air fryer that uses hardly any oil.

Dec 9th, 2016 3:27pm • No Comments

As Ryu Spaeth pointed out, the only thing worse than "Papa" is the pronunciation "paPA." PERISH THE THOUGHT.


“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5.

Nov 30th, 2016 5:20pm • 1 Comment