Let Us Now Praise Hippo Dads

February 15th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized

Over at The Morning News, a former DadWagon subsidiary recently splintered off in a multibillion-dollar IPO, Marco Kaye identifies himself as a new beast in the parenthood menagerie: the Hippo Father, native to Long Island:

A lot of fathers in other states must wonder how Long Island dads raise such badass sons. They wonder why our boys are all about football, ice hockey, and girls, what it’s like at home, and if they can do it too. I’m here to tell you that even if you’ve only been to Fire Island or the Hamptons—though it’s likely you have already traded in your sack and have larger issues to contend with—you can still raise your kids the Long Island way. Here are some things my sons, Jake and Colin, were never allowed to do:

  • Attend a sleepover without chicks being there, too.
  • Play tennis, golf, track, swimming, or any other sport meant for girls and old people.
  • Listen to that crotch-grabbing circus music popular with all the other kids.
  • Not be the no. 1 student in gym.
  • Paint or draw.
  • Play any video game other than anything in the Call of Duty or Halo series.
  • Not play Call of Duty or Halo.

Unfortunately, it’s satire, not reality. But it’s funny. So go read it.

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!