From time to time, the DadWagon role as cultural rainmaker, social judge, and commercial stalwarts means that PR people send stuff to review and consider. Among us, Matt seems to take the service aspect of service journalism most seriously. He tends to handle these things, but since he’s dropped off the face of the earth this week, it’s fallen to me.

So, in that light, may I present you with: THE “KIDS GUIDE TO MOVIE MAKING,” A MUST READ FOR FUTURE SCORSESES AND SPIELBERGS.

Which is apparently a book. Which the fine folks at some PR firm whose name I can’t find in their email thinks that DadWagon should read–and you too! Here’s why:

“Directed toward today’s creative and technically-savvy preteens and middle schoolers, this DIY guide provides the tools required to set them on the journey of making their own feature film, complete with strong characters and stories audiences will enjoy.”

There. That’s enough for me to know that I hate this book, I hate these kids, and I hate tools, characters, stories, and enjoyment.

Am I cranky today? You bet! Is it because JP is out of school all week and Tomoko has been on a conference call for the past two hours? YEP!

And also, since I was an actor in one of the best known fanfilm productions of all time, in which, Theodore Ross, author of the forthcoming nonfiction book, plays “Major Toht,” the evil Nazi character in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation.

We had no book, you scurvy little whippersnappers! We made the whole movie with rubber bands, carpenter’s glue, and plenty of chutzpah! And a Betamax camera donated by the rich father of the lead actor, but hey, let’s not get into the details too much, shall we.

Really, though, there is something unnerving about such a book. I think it might not be the worst way to encourage a child interested in the arts. The question is: why would you want to do that? Creative types, like your stalwart DadWagoneers, are MISERABLE. The pay is bad, society looks down and you, the chances of success are minimal at best.

A better book might be something like: “The Kid’s Guide to Hedge Fund Trading.” Or the “Kids Guide to Powerful Lobbying Jobs.”

Now that’s being practical.