• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

“I don’t know if I’m smelling my own lunch or someone else’s.”

April 4th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  1 Comment

In which Matt and Nathan discuss flying, phobias, irrationality, and Asia via Skype:

NT: you in asia yet?

MG: yep. sitting in Jean’s childhood bedroom in Taipei

NT: ah, how nice. congrats on getting there. how’s the babe?

MG: man, what a nightmare

NT: really?

MG: “I scared! I scared!”

NT: oh no! The flight?

MG: yeah

NT: wow

MG: she didn’t want to sit in her own seat

NT: i get that

MG: total freakout

NT: hmm

MG: screaming, crying, “No! No! No! No!”

NT: did the attendants fuck with you?

MG: no, they were nice. it was Cathay Pacific

NT: oh

MG: they did everything they could to help. you know, Asians

NT: yes. why i married them. but still

MG: true

NT: sasha had to be on your lap?

MG: no, that was the problem: she’s over 2, so has to be in a seat

NT: yup

MG: landing in Hong Kong, the flight attendants gave in to her bloodcurdling shrieks and brought one of those double seatbelts so Sasha could sit on Jean’s lap

NT: ah, that’s crazed.

MG: but from HK to Taipei was better: Sasha understanding that though she was scared, everything was okay. also, massive exhaustion doesn’t help

NT: no doubt. But SOOO interesting: I’ve got a touch of flight-phobia, and my kids never picked that up. Until the last flight

MG: really? with all that you fly?

NT: Yeah.

MG: huh

NT: It’s better. Used to be mortal. But I’m a fucking idiot. But Dalia on the last flight was a little jumpy and my heart sank

MG: she was picking up on it from you? (btw, I can smell frying garlic from my desk…)

NT: Ha! sounds good. No, I’ve been pretty brave-faced with them around. They also ground me. I literally am ok with perishing if they are with me. It’d be like a telelnovela

MG: The thing that Sasha’s freakout reminded me was this: It’s nice to have kids grow up and be more intelligent and sentient, but the smarter they get, away goes the feral-animal not-caring that made flights so easy before.

NT: yeah. And I think that dalia is still more animal than human, so her phobias shouldn’t start. not yet. not soon

MG: But still, god, there’s nothing like hearing “I scared!”

NT: poor girl. I’m sorry to hear that.

MG: It’s the kind of milestone you don’t want to reach.

NT: Altho it’s worth remembering that Dalia gets VERY SCARED at episodes of Wallace and Gromit

MG: wow, weird


MG: but now that seems irrational

NT: Ha

MG: like that would be the part of the animal brain reacting

NT: Yeah, the cheese brain. I am not one to lecture on irrationality

MG: whereas flightphobia (yours and Sasha’s) seems more considered: “Okay, this aluminum tube I’m in does not seem all that sturdy.” the cheese brain!

NT: Eh. I spent a decade of my life thinking I was so exalted as to be on the ONE DOOMED FLIGHT that year. that’s stupid

MG: no one’s that lucky. oh, last night, Sasha hit on another new thing

NT: Oh?

MG: she woke up crying and screaming at 2am, and we had to bring her into our room

NT: that hadn’t happened before?

MG: and she told us repeatedly, “I can’t sleep.” (that’s after all the flights and such)

NT: i bet she couldn’t

MG: it was an interesting statement, like she wanted to sleep and knew this was the time to sleep, but also knew she couldn’t. there were some layers there

NT: how old is she?

MG: 2.25. oh, and another thing I kept meaning to mention the other day when we all met up: I was at a book party for Greg Lindsay’s “Aerotropolis” a couple of weeks ago and I met another writer, Andrew Blum or Bloom or something

NT: sounds like our people

MG: while we were talking, the subject of kids’ ages came up, and I mentioned my scheme for how you’re allowed to talk about weeks, months, years, etc., and this Andrew guy said, “Oh, you’re on the DadWagon guys.” presumably b/c I’d written about that (kids’ ages) on DadWagon

NT: You’re one OF the dadwagon guys?

MG: sorry, “You’re one of the DadWagon guys.” yes, correct. jetlag

NT: aha

MG: ah, now I smell fish frying

NT: fame! fish! great combo

MG: I know! Weird, huh?

NT: Kismet

MG: I don’t know if I’m smelling my own lunch or someone else’s

NT: ha. that’s the problem with Asia. Fucking great line

MG: Asia, however, is so cheap you can usually just buy someone else’s lunch off of them

NT: “I don’t know if I’m smelling my own lunch or someone else’s.” Right

MG: and that’s the headline for this IM-transcription post

NT: Theirs can become yours. No doubt. Great chatting with you

MG: same here

NT: Sorry it built off your daughter’s terror



    A Week on the Wagon: Quality Over Quantity Edition | DADWAGON

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


BRB, just going out to buy all the Brussels sprouts at Whole Foods...

The perfect treat for children you hate this Halloween


Halloween will be here soon, along with children knocking at your door demanding treats. Here's a brilliantly mean idea...

Oct 27th 9:22am • No Comments


The Right Way to Swear in Front of Your Kids


Context, context, context.

Sep 19th 2:33pm • No Comments

I don't care. EAT IT ANYWAY, KID!

‘Five Second Rule’ for Food on Floor Is Untrue, Study Finds


Researchers concluded that no matter how fast you pick up food that falls on the floor, you will pick up bacteria with it.

Sep 19th 11:38am • No Comments


Why Danish Parents Like to Talk About Death


It's because it makes for happier kids, says new book.

Aug 11th 8:19am • No Comments