Actually, it’s not just a flight. Due to the vicissitudes of the global economy and our resulting (and oddly unshakable) penury, the best and cheapest way to transport the family from New York to northern Germany, where we will spend some vacation days relaxing with old friends in Vorpommerania, is this: flight from New York to Reykjavik. Reyjkavik to Amsterdam. Train to some backwater transfer station, another train to Berlin. It’s not quite travel by steamship, but in all it will take 22 hours, if we nail every connection.
So I’m busy right now charging up every electronic entertainment device I own, so that perhaps all of us can follow my son’s lead and wear diapers and zone out watching Star Wars over and over while urinating en place.
But here is a plea to all you more veteran travel-with-family travelers: is there any hope for us once the batteries run down? Any old-school tricks for transporting a two- and five-year-old across endless time and space? I’ve got time for one more trip to the store in my neighborhood. Should I buy beef jerky? Red bull? A copy of Marie Claire and three bottles of glue? Any suggestion not just welcome, but madly desired.
God save us all.