• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed


May 11th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  1 Comment

Screw those pussies.

I was at my desk writing this morning, and as is my habit, I wanted to insert a cliche into one of my sentences. I half-remembered a phrase that went something like, “Twice is a hobby, three times is an obsession.”

That didn’t seem exactly right, so I went onto the Internet to see if I could look it up. Hit number one for the following search string, “twice is a hobby three times an obsession”, was from Puberty101.com, which has a Q and A page on masturbation. Here’s a sampling of what I learned:

What is the best way to masturbate? I masturbated while watching myself in a mirror and it felt better. Why?
Answer: The best way to masturbate, if you choose to, is the way that feels the best for you — different people prefer different methods. If you like to watch yourself in the mirror, then perhaps that’s best for you. Perhaps you enjoy it because you fantasize that what you’re seeing in the mirror is what someone else would see if they were in the room with you. Lots of people get turned on when they fantasize that others are watching, and that’s okay. Just don’t force others to see you by exposing yourself or “accidently” leaving the door open — that’s not okay.

How do you masturbate?

Answer: Well, I won’t answer that it full detail, but let’s just say that to “play with yourself” seems to be a good description of the act. Most boys discover that rubbing their penises feels good, and after a few minutes they ejaculate (“come”) and it feels really good.

I masturbate 3-4 times a day in private, and maybe once or twice with one or two of my friends. The thing is they only play with themselves once a day, am I normal or am I some kind of sicko?

Answer: Well, as you can read from the other responses, masturbating a few times daily isn’t necessarily bad unless it gets in the way of other activities. Now, I assume you don’t mean that you masturbate with with your friends every day also? I guess that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but at this point, masturbating 4-6 times per day may be taking time away from other activities. You are probably in the normal range, although most boys don’t “circle jerk” that often as they reach their late teens. If you’re obsessed with masturbation, or masturbating with your friends, then perhaps you should take up a sport or hobby that will give you something else to do also.

Oh Good Lord: Look away! (and on a related note: JP is perhaps 7-8 years away from needing this kind of guidance, which is both a relief and not long enough).


  1. karen says:

    May 11th, 2011at 11:59 pm(#)

    A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is the BEST!!! I’ll be sending this to my kid when the time is right. I hope it is still available. Or … guess I could tell him myself? Eywwwwwwwwwwwww!

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


Do you show this to your kids?

AP Images

An unnamed gunman gestures after shooting the Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrei Karlov, at a photo gallery in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, Dec. 19, 2016. Turkish police shot and killed the gunman, Turkish station NTV reported. Russia's ambassador to Turkey has died after being shot in Ankara, according to Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman. #APPhoto by Burhan Ozbilici

Story developing: http://apne.ws/2hRY0rH

Dec 19th, 2016 7:32pm • No Comments

"They watch their mothers and fathers overdose and die on the bathroom floor. They live without electricity, food or heat when their parents can’t pay the bills. They stop going to school, and learn to steal and forage to meet their basic needs."

The Children of the Opioid Crisis


Left behind by addict parents, tens of thousands of youngsters flood the nation’s foster-care system; grandparents become moms and dads again

Dec 16th, 2016 2:11pm • No Comments

Don't forget the gift receipt(s)!

A Gift for Every Type of Dad (That You Can Buy on Amazon)


Including cricket-flour protein bars, ice-cold beer chillers, and an air fryer that uses hardly any oil.

Dec 9th, 2016 3:27pm • No Comments

As Ryu Spaeth pointed out, the only thing worse than "Papa" is the pronunciation "paPA." PERISH THE THOUGHT.


“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5.

Nov 30th, 2016 5:20pm • 1 Comment