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May 11th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  1 Comment

Screw those pussies.

I was at my desk writing this morning, and as is my habit, I wanted to insert a cliche into one of my sentences. I half-remembered a phrase that went something like, “Twice is a hobby, three times is an obsession.”

That didn’t seem exactly right, so I went onto the Internet to see if I could look it up. Hit number one for the following search string, “twice is a hobby three times an obsession”, was from Puberty101.com, which has a Q and A page on masturbation. Here’s a sampling of what I learned:

What is the best way to masturbate? I masturbated while watching myself in a mirror and it felt better. Why?
Answer: The best way to masturbate, if you choose to, is the way that feels the best for you — different people prefer different methods. If you like to watch yourself in the mirror, then perhaps that’s best for you. Perhaps you enjoy it because you fantasize that what you’re seeing in the mirror is what someone else would see if they were in the room with you. Lots of people get turned on when they fantasize that others are watching, and that’s okay. Just don’t force others to see you by exposing yourself or “accidently” leaving the door open — that’s not okay.

How do you masturbate?

Answer: Well, I won’t answer that it full detail, but let’s just say that to “play with yourself” seems to be a good description of the act. Most boys discover that rubbing their penises feels good, and after a few minutes they ejaculate (“come”) and it feels really good.

I masturbate 3-4 times a day in private, and maybe once or twice with one or two of my friends. The thing is they only play with themselves once a day, am I normal or am I some kind of sicko?

Answer: Well, as you can read from the other responses, masturbating a few times daily isn’t necessarily bad unless it gets in the way of other activities. Now, I assume you don’t mean that you masturbate with with your friends every day also? I guess that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but at this point, masturbating 4-6 times per day may be taking time away from other activities. You are probably in the normal range, although most boys don’t “circle jerk” that often as they reach their late teens. If you’re obsessed with masturbation, or masturbating with your friends, then perhaps you should take up a sport or hobby that will give you something else to do also.

Oh Good Lord: Look away! (and on a related note: JP is perhaps 7-8 years away from needing this kind of guidance, which is both a relief and not long enough).


  1. karen says:

    May 11th, 2011at 11:59 pm(#)

    A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is the BEST!!! I’ll be sending this to my kid when the time is right. I hope it is still available. Or … guess I could tell him myself? Eywwwwwwwwwwwww!

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