• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

Ow, My Balls! A DadWagon Contest

July 11th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  5 Comments

Okay, this isn’t so much a post as it is a miniature contest. Or a cry for help. Make that a scream from the pit of my stomach. Basically, I need your help, you brilliant DadWagon readers, to name a phenomenon.

Here is the phenomenon: Kids, from the time they become mobile, seem to have an unerring instinct for bashing Dad in the balls. With feet, hands, head, robot frogs, books, magic wands, and three-wheeled scooters, they’re like heat-seeking missiles—crotch rockets, if you will—that always manage to find their testicular targets. It often feels like destiny (painful destiny), in that no matter how far away the kid is from you, no matter what kind of soft toy they’re playing with, your balls are in danger.

So, in the vein of the Washington Post Style Invitational, I’d like you to help me name this situation. Points will be given for cleverness, extra points will be given to those who buy me a beer. The winner will receive nothing but the glory that comes from being highlighted on the biggest little dadblog in the world. Post your entries below.


Responses

  1. Nathan says:

    July 11th, 2011at 4:37 pm(#)

    Umm, bairnballed? Does that only apply to boys?

  2. Matt says:

    July 11th, 2011at 4:42 pm(#)

    Not bad. I was thinking orchidipity, maybe. Or knee-jock reflex.

  3. Amanda says:

    July 11th, 2011at 9:17 pm(#)

    We used to call it “No Brothers! No Sisters!”, as though punching dad in the balls would inhibit is ability to procreate.

  4. Jason says:

    July 12th, 2011at 7:19 pm(#)

    Oh, you’re referring to Newton’s Law of Testraction.

  5. Matt says:

    July 13th, 2011at 8:21 am(#)

    This woman in California has her own version of “No Brothers! No Sisters!”

Leave a Response

tips/suggestions/grievances

Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!

DadWagon

Do you show this to your kids?

AP Images

An unnamed gunman gestures after shooting the Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrei Karlov, at a photo gallery in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, Dec. 19, 2016. Turkish police shot and killed the gunman, Turkish station NTV reported. Russia's ambassador to Turkey has died after being shot in Ankara, according to Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman. #APPhoto by Burhan Ozbilici

Story developing: http://apne.ws/2hRY0rH

Dec 19th, 2016 7:32pm • No Comments

"They watch their mothers and fathers overdose and die on the bathroom floor. They live without electricity, food or heat when their parents can’t pay the bills. They stop going to school, and learn to steal and forage to meet their basic needs."

The Children of the Opioid Crisis

wsj.com

Left behind by addict parents, tens of thousands of youngsters flood the nation’s foster-care system; grandparents become moms and dads again

Dec 16th, 2016 2:11pm • No Comments

Don't forget the gift receipt(s)!

A Gift for Every Type of Dad (That You Can Buy on Amazon)

nymag.com

Including cricket-flour protein bars, ice-cold beer chillers, and an air fryer that uses hardly any oil.

Dec 9th, 2016 3:27pm • No Comments

As Ryu Spaeth pointed out, the only thing worse than "Papa" is the pronunciation "paPA." PERISH THE THOUGHT.

DadWagon

“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5.

Nov 30th, 2016 5:20pm • 1 Comment