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I Should Be Able to Use My Daughter to Pick Up Chicks

August 5th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  9 Comments

Our nanny had the day off last Monday and I stayed home with Ellie for the day. We didn’t get up to much, playing on the floor, eating, napping, and then a trip by car to the grocery store, followed by lunch at a nearby restaurant.

Ellie has proven so far to be a very calm child. She’s nine months old, and was able to sit in a high chair at the restaurant for a good forty minutes. She didn’t sling anything, break anything, trash anything, scream, cry, crap, or pee, and she helped herself to all of my food without complaint.

What’s more, if only I had been single, think of the uses to which she could have been put! I swear, the eyes of every attractive woman in the joint were on us. Yes, they were smiling at my child, and yes, I was wearing a wedding band, but still—the title of this post is “should” use my daughter to pick up chicks, not “did.” I didn’t. But I could have. And she would have made it SO easy.


  1. Vincent | @CuteMonsterDad says:

    August 5th, 2011at 8:38 am(#)

    Without question, the ladies are attracted to men who a) are capable of procreating and b) possess the ability to nurture children. 2 major priorities on a child bearing age woman’s list of finding a “trainable” man. :)

    Enjoy your current state of adulation sir. Once the grey hairs kick in though from toddler parenting, the luster fades for the fairer sex.

    Vincent | CuteMonster.com

  2. dadwagon says:

    August 5th, 2011at 8:40 am(#)

    Vincent, speaking as the balding (not graying) father of a five-year-old, I must be the exception to the rule. sorry for your loss. –theodore.

  3. Dan says:

    August 5th, 2011at 11:00 am(#)

    If anything, hair from toddler parenting works in our favor.

  4. Christine says:

    August 5th, 2011at 11:41 am(#)


  5. dadwagon says:

    August 5th, 2011at 11:42 am(#)

    Christine: Yuck, what? That women flirt with men with children, or that such men notice? –theodore.

  6. Matt says:

    August 5th, 2011at 11:47 am(#)

    Ted, I’m still disappointed in you for not using JP as a chick magnet when you were actually single. Think of the stories you could tell—instead of just this speculation…

  7. dadwagon says:

    August 5th, 2011at 11:48 am(#)

    Matt, he was a toddler, and apparently that makes me less attractive…and I did.–theodore.

  8. dadwagon says:

    August 5th, 2011at 11:49 am(#)

    and I’m not saying. –theodore.

  9. jzzy55 says:

    September 7th, 2011at 12:50 pm(#)

    I’ve had a baby and I’ve had poodles. Poodles work better. They just sit calmly while you chat someone up, as long as they already did their business. Try that with a baby with a full diaper.

    Yuck = “you think you’re so special?” or perhaps “Really? You think taking care of of a baby makes you hot?” or even “Why doesn’t this work for women?”.

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