Little Stairmasters

October 19th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized

The Ideal Schoolhouse

Of all the things I like about my daughter’s kindergarten, part of a independent public K-8 school housed in a hulking old Manhattan school building, here’s something unexpected: I like the stairs.

There are elevators in the five-floor building, but the AM rush is a shitshow, to put it mildly, of way too many parents and students there for the three (I think there are three) different schools that inhabit the same building. That Dalia’s school also has a high proportion of physically challenged kids in wheelchairs, walkers, etc., is one of the things I like about the school (diversity isn’t always just a question of pigment). But it means that the elevators are better used serving those kids than my own child, whose primary handicap is deep, genetic laziness.

At least, I thought it was. But this morning as every morning before, Dalia has taken to the stairs with something bordering on aggression. Even though she’s not always excited to be going to school (no one plays with her, she says, or calls on her when she raises her hand in class), she doesn’t quit on those stairs. She lugs her bag up, breathes a little heavy, doesn’t mind the older kids flying headlong down the same narrow stairwell, and just gets it done. Her class is on the 3rd floor, so that’s a good forty or more steps each morning.

And as our friends at DadWagon subsidiary the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention helpfully point out in their Get Active infobomb, if you are afraid that a “lack of skill” is keeping you from exercising, you can either 1) “learn a new skill” or 2) take the fucking stairs (I paraphrase).

The stairs success is a small thing, but a good lesson in finding value where you can. The building is old. It’s got the same crappy linoleum that my public high school did. When we were in school and had the chance to do some sport event across the SF Bay at one of those flash suburban schools with rubberized track and carpeted hallways, we felt poor and aggrieved. In the same way, Dalia’s facility pales, no doubt, compared to suburban schools. But I like the virtue of this: she will have far tighter abs and glutes than any child that goes to a fancier school. She and her classmates will be second only to the real hardbodies. You know, the kids who attend kindergarten way up on the fifth floor.

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


Wedgie time for this one.

Entertaining Stuff


Jun 23rd 8:15pm • No Comments

I mean, who doesn't let their kids eat popsicles in bed?

It's Like They Know Us — “Sure, sometimes after a long day of modeling my...

“Sure, sometimes after a long day of modeling my spectacular abs on Instagram I don’t feel like putting my entire family into bikinis for bath time - but as parents, we must make sacrifices."

Jun 9th 1:33pm • No Comments

Honestly, shouldn't we just put all teenagers in prison, regardless of whether they've committed any crimes at all?

This Is Insane: House Passes Law Calling For Mandatory 15-Year Prison Sentences for Half of All Teenagers

Elizabeth Nolan Brown at Reason: Teens who text each other explicit images could be subject to 15 years in federal prison under a new bill that just passed the House of Representatives.... Most of the opposition centered on the bill's effective expansion of mandatory-minimum prison sentences. One vo...

Jun 2nd 12:58pm • No Comments