As I’m writing this, I’m in our apartment listening to my mother-in-law debrief the children after last night, when she looked after the kids for a few hours.
“I heard that two little birdies told their mother that I didn’t feed them any dinner last night.”
“Two little birdies?”
“You. You two. You told your mom that I sent you to bed without any food.”
For the record, the kids had been given dinner, though it consisted entirely of Mexican pastries. But the no-snitches message (remember Baltimore’s byword: “snitches get stitches and end up in ditches”) was clear enough.
Now, whether “stop snitching” is a lesson my mother-in-law should be teaching my children is a question best left to someone else to answer. But even if she’s enforcing omerta, I don’t have big gripes about my wife’s mother. Not since we realized how much child care with strangers costs. And especially not since she learned how to connect to the Internet a while ago and could theoretically be reading this on an actual web browser now.
IF I had an issue with my in-laws, however, I sure as hell know what I would do to solve the problem: take part in a reality show about those problems. Yes, the same salve–cable TV–that saved Jon and Kate’s marriage and rescued Sarah Palin’s political career could be yours as well. DadWagon was contacted last week (not paid!) about just such an opportunity for you to trot out all your dirt in front of the cameras for the second season of Monster-in-Laws. From their producers:
“MONSTER IN-LAWS” on A&E Is Now Casting Nationwide
Are you struggling to maintain a relationship with an out-of-control in-law?
Is a cultural or background divide challenging your relationship?
Does the statement, “When mom/dad says no, ask grandma/grandpa” ring true in your family?
Does your mother or father-in-law still baby your husband/wife, challenge your parenting style or openly disrespect you?
If you’re desperate to repair your relationship with an in-law before it’s too late, we want to hear from you! Families who appear on the show will have the opportunity to work with a professional relationship expert who will help them to identify their issues and repair their relationships. Families who appear on the show will receive a financial honorarium as a “thank you” for their time and commitment to the show. In addition, we offer a finder’s fee for anyone who nominates a family that appears on the show.
To apply, please fill out a brief casting questionnaire:
So, there you have it: the nexus of money, psychotherapy, and reality television. Yours for the taking.