It Doesn’t Work

A short while ago I wrote a post about how amazing I am as a father, offering as evidence my ability to get both of my children to go to sleep at once. Do I regret connecting the successful sleep patterns of my progeny with my capacities as a father? No. I don’t. I stand by my statements from the earlier post (“I’m pretty fantastic”). I just don’t know how strongly I would pusht the sleep angle.

Tomoko is out of town again (three nights!) and again it happens to fall during the nights I have JP. It’s a lot to do, but the kids are pretty manageable, plus I had my father over for dinner, so there was built in entertainment. Only problem was that Ellie, who never gives me trouble about sleep, refused to go down. For over two hours. Of crying. And getting her out of the crib. And putting her back. Followed by more crying.

I definitely did not drink enough this evening either to deserve this or handle it with equanimity.

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About Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

2 thoughts on “It Doesn’t Work

  1. Hey, if they went to sleep at all without dad having to resort to doping them with cold medicine, I think that counts for “pretty fantastic.” At least I counted it as a win when my boys were that age.

  2. Doping with medicine to get them to sleep? Are you for real?

    Sleep is one of those things that either works or it doesn’t – they are all different. If by setting a routine and sticking to it you don’t get the desired effect I’d simply resort to enjoying the time you have with them whilst they are awake and remembering that these things usually come in phases – phases that you’re likely to miss when you look back.

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