Here at DadWagon, we get a lot of press releases. Most of them get instantly deleted. Others get deleted after a minute’s consideration. Still others are simply overlooked and fester unread in our inbox.
But every once in a while, one of them gets through. Yesterday, a message came in from the makers of NoseFrida—you know, the infamous snotsucker everyone uses to clean out the nasal passages of their infants. (If you haven’t seen it, it’s basically a flexible straw with a receptacle; you stick it up the kid’s nose and suck. Yum.) We had one when Sasha was little; we might’ve even had two. Well, the Swedes behind FridaBaby.com have a new product, one whose description… Well, here it is:
The Windi, another inventive product from FridaBaby, is a single-use rectal catheter that offers instant relief to babies with colic and other gas-related issues by safely facilitating the release of excess gas.
In other words, if you liked huffing baby boogers, you’re gonna love force-farting! Geez. I can almost imagine lining up a dozen constipated newborns and using the Windi to play them like a pipe organ. Thing is, the stupid contraption probably works, and we’ll all find ourselves rectally catheterizing our kids as calmly and blasély (word?) as we now orally vacuum up their mucus. Congratulations, publicist! You’ve succeeded in horrifying DadWagon’s fast-dwindling readership. Be sure to keep us on your list.