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The Destruction, AKA, My Third Child

March 16th, 2012  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  9 Comments

I’ve spent this week at home, knitting my bones and brain. I am starting to feel relatively like myself, at least a very tired version of said jackass. To those who responded to the earlier post, my father thanks you. He also suggested we hire him full time. Fortunately, as an editor as well as a writer, I have become adept at telling people no. Keep your day job, dad. (I’m such a stinker.)

Which leaves me only with my current news: in the race to be the dominant father here at DadWagon, it looks like I can expect to win. I’m having another one, ladies and germs, a baby, that is, a girl to specific, to be delivered by my lovely and (clearly) fertile wife.

What does this mean, other than the fact that I have consigned myself to a life of grinding poverty? It means three kids, which is, to put it mildly, a butt load more than I ever planned on having. It means a lot more than that, I expect, but panicked pleasure and depression is all I have on offer presently.

More to follow, assuming no more motorized vehicles attempt to strike me dead.


  1. Bernadette Walsh via Facebook says:

    March 16th, 2012at 12:03 pm(#)

    Congratulations! :)

  2. Libby Dougan says:

    March 16th, 2012at 12:33 pm(#)

    Congratulations, Theodore. Third one is the charm. (Although you are now officially outnumbered)

  3. dadwagon says:

    March 16th, 2012at 12:34 pm(#)

    @libby, being outnumbered has not escaped my imagination, believe me.–theodore.

  4. karen says:

    March 16th, 2012at 12:49 pm(#)

    Woot! ‘Bout time somebody got with the new millenium. Three is the new two (or it was, about 5 years ago) so welcome to the club.

  5. karen says:

    March 16th, 2012at 3:51 pm(#)

    herding cats, that’s what someone told us when they had their third and we still only had 2 but were plotting our outnumbering …

  6. Marlena says:

    March 17th, 2012at 1:53 pm(#)

    Minivan! Well, if those existed in your neck of the woods. Mazel tov!

  7. Lori says:

    March 22nd, 2012at 3:12 pm(#)

    Mazel tov! You and Matt with the newbies, that is so very cool! It sounds almost contractual – are DadWagon writers obligated to “get pregnant” at the same time? Think of the webcontent! :)

  8. Matt says:

    March 22nd, 2012at 9:39 pm(#)

    Well, now that we’ve started doing sponsored posts, we figured we’d take up some offers to sponsor our kids. Mine’s going to be called Apple Linksys Gross. What about yours, Ted?

  9. dadwagon says:

    March 22nd, 2012at 10:08 pm(#)

    “holyshit howtopay forcollege ross,” sounds about right. –theodore

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