Fucking hate them all.
Fuck, the morning began so well. Sasha emerged from her bedroom in her new footie pj’s placid and happy. “I had a really long sleep!” she told me, sitting down on the toilet to pee and describing in unintelligible detail the great dream she’d had (about princesses).
From there it got worse: a timeout before I’d even had a shower, and a battle to get her to wear tights on this cold morning. “But I’m not beautiful!” she whined. “I’m not a princess anymore!”
As I somehow convinced to cooperate with getting the tights on, I was getting worried. This princess shit has been going on a long, long time—too long. At first, it was cute. Sasha identified with the princesses she saw in cartoon movies: Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Castle in the Sky, Dora, Princess Bubblegum, and so on. She wanted only to wear “princess dresses” whose hems flounced out—pinkly or sparkly—when she twirled. She demanded slippers she could wear outdoors. And we, her parents, gave in. It didn’t seem so bad, and we were never pressuring her on these things. In fact, we always tried to make sure she had a variety of outfits and activities, not just those that would conform to the most frustrating gender stereotypes.
But lately it’s just gotten too damn annoying. We can’t make her wear pants. We can only get her into sneakers because her teachers require them. Even when we show her beautiful, multicolored skirts and tights and sweaters and such, she turns them down because they don’t match up to her vision of princesshood. Everything is a damn battle. Tears flow. Tempers flare.
Yeah, I know: She’s almost 4. This happens. But honestly, I don’t want to wait this one out, not when every morning we fight about the exact same things.
What we need—and what I’m hoping to learn from you, dear readers—are books, stories, movies, TV shows about non-standard princesses. Princesses who wear jeans and T-shirts, who run and climb mountains, who get dirty and hate the color pink. Brave had a little bit of this—an archer princess who rides horses!—but it’s not on DVD yet, so we’re stuck there.
What is out there that’s so awesome that Sasha will start demanding Japanese selvedge denim or pre-K Patagonia shells? Please, help us—and hurry!
Princess Leia. You’re welcome.
Here’s a place to start:
http://www.amightygirl.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=princesses
Check out A Mighty Girl–here’s a search of their site for “princesses”: http://www.amightygirl.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=princesses
Paperbag Princess is a big hit.
The oridinary princess by MM Kaye
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgess Burnett (might be too old…)
The Secret Garden
what about even just looking at pictures from magazines of the “real” princess — princess Kate has pictures of her wearing jeans, etc.
Read her The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley about an orphan girl who becomes a warrior and then queen. I certainly plan to read it to my daughter when I have one.
Thanks for the comment, Jason! Also, check out our “Ultimate Guide to the Independent Princess” — there are a ton of stories about daring, smart princesses: http://www.amightygirl.com/mighty-girl-picks/independent-princess
Sorry, Matt, you are screwed.
I like this book: http://amzn.to/W4Y6Mp –
The Princess Knight by Cornelia Funke is a good one for us.
The Paper Bag Princess, as already mentioned.
Not All Princesses Wear Pink by Jane Yolen et al. has princesses with power tools and sparkly crowns.
You should show her some Hayao Miyazaki films. E.g My Neighbour Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery, The Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Ponyo, The Secret World of Arrietty etc. They are great and all of them have a lovely girl character that your lil princess may like!
Mulan- unfortunately this is a very normal almost 4 year old girl behavior. Good luck! It gets easier.
I agree with Izabella: Miyazaki’s films may be the answer: show her Princess Mononoke (and don’t go complaining if she only wants to wear fake fur after that…).
Princess Cimorene in Dealing with Dragons (by Patricia Wrede) is really awesome, but you’ll probably have to wait another 5 years to read the book with your daughter…
Long time no see.
The one book we liked at that age was Princesses are not Quitters, which was quite useful for deconstructing the princess crap.
The good news is that, similar to the whole WFT when will it happen toilet training crap and a cold that you have for what seems like forever, it goes away. Unless you feed the monster that is princess culture. We like to give doses of media awareness, discussions about the marketing machine and less “princess” not more.
We couldn’t avoid princess, it was at the schools, the relatives brought over trunkloads of it, it was everywhere. But we could educate around it, and that works exceptionally well.
I would say if she is on a disney kick:
Princess Jasmine wears Pants and she is still very girly.
Mulan
Tinker bell (not a princess but she’s girly and tomboyish)
Some non-Disney non-princess:
Shugo Chara – not a princess but cute trendy girl characters.
Rainbow Bright
Strawberry Shortcake
try this game: http://www.goldieblox.com/
GoldieBlox is a construction toy + book series starring Goldie, the kid inventor who loves to build.