Something about the new year made DadWagon a little jumpy. We kicked it off by fretting about sidewalk electrocution, and moved quickly to worrying about the choices other parents make. We cursed, trainspotted and clusterfucked (strictly in the epidemiological sense), and we were only half-joking when we advocated beating children.

Theodore, who lost a cherished area rug, continued to perfect the use of snarky links to express his bubbling discontentment with his divorce and his fellow DadWagoners. Nathan deserved at least some of this ridicule, for defending Amtrak and for dabbling in weak metaphors: Dude, looking for a babysitter has nothing to do with strapping a kid to a sheep.

Matt confessed to having not one, but two sinotastic nannies, a fact which should free him up to see if Fox takes up his suggestion of purple nurples for underaged game show contestants.

Household order was once again on Christopher’s mind: this time around he advocated using his baby as a dust mop, and showed that he’ll bring the boeuf if only his child sleeps.

And, of course, we had our Tantrum, about whether or not you should rat your kid out like the crotchbomber’s dad did. Nathan, leery of the law, said no, while Matt and Christopher gave a yes and a hell yes, respectively. Theodore, God love him, called bullshit on the entire premise.

Have a great weekend, and see you on Monday.