The Tantrum: Should I Send my Kid to Private School? Part 2
February 24th, 2010 | by Nathan | Published in Edumucation, The Tantrum | 9 Comments
An empty suit
Theodore complained righteously about the lack of available spaces, but it’s even worse than he wrote, because you’re not guaranteed a spot in your district until kindergarten (at least according to the hivemind at YouBeMom). For pre-K, you’re only guaranteed a spot somewhere in New York. Which raises the question: how ’bout a 90 minute commute Staten Island each day?
But despite the odds, we will take whichever public school will have us. Dalia was in a private school she loves this past year. They were kind, thoughtful, and progressive. But they just sent a bill for $28,000 for next year’s (full-day) tuition. It is an astounding amount, and far, far beyond our reach.
I should have known things were gonna get pricey when the school’s headmistress began posting about early childhood education at Huffington Post (no joke). Exposure has a price.
But as sad as we are to be leaving that school (and if you’re a school employee and reading this–we are going to officially turn down the spot tomorrow), I am glad to be getting to public schools finally.
My wife and I were always in public schools, she in Los Angeles, me in a small town (Key West) and a big city (San Francisco). I never liked private school kids. I didn’t really know any, but I projected a lot of my anxieties about money and manners (and my lack thereof) on them. In San Francisco, they seemed so walled-off from the rest of the city, and at such a young age. I just didn’t see myself raising kids in private school.
That’s still true. I don’t understand why people spend a fortune on primary and secondary education. Because the goal is college, right? And if anything, I think going to a fancy prep school can make it more difficult to get into the best colleges. This is debated heavily, and one of the true rock stars of college admissions, Marilee Jones (yeah, I know she had that scandal, but still) wouldn’t admit as much in my interviews with her. But I read between the lines and inferred it a bit, and besides, it’s common sense: If you’re a great student from a hardscrabble public institution, you’re just more impressive than a great student from a silver spoon academy.
It worked for my wife and me, and it’s our plan for our kids.
Staten Island, here we come.
February 24th, 2010at 4:58 pm(#)
Because the goal is college, right?
I don’t know about that. Isn’t it a bit more complicated.
February 24th, 2010at 5:48 pm(#)
Ok, I know I’m a heavily-sheltered Canadian but $28000 US for a year of elementary!? Five years ago I spent the about same amount on three years of tuition for law degree from one of the top schools up here. Seriously, that’s crazy.
February 25th, 2010at 9:59 pm(#)
For PreK, of course, in most parts of the country, there simply is no public option. And if it does exist, it starts at age 4 and is often half-day. (My glorious state of residence, NJ, is one of the few states to offer universal public preK for 3s and 4s, but then only in the cities.) So in most places any working parent who wants her 3 or 4 year old out with his friends all day instead of sulking around the house asking for more play-doh over, and over, has to pay.
March 15th, 2010at 7:02 pm(#)
I stumbled upon this post a little late, so I have no idea if leaving a comment even matters or not, but I disagree with this post. My parents sent me to my local Seattle public school for first grade and it was a disaster. I was one of thirty kids and I came in already knowing basic reading and my numbers, etc. I am an experiential learner and like to be engaged. As one of thirty, it was impossible for the teacher to meaningfully teach to my while trying to work with kids who hadn’t slept the night before or eaten that morning. The result? I was bored and/or in trouble all the time. So, the next year I went to a progressive private school and continued on that route until college. My father regrets it because he sees all that money as wasted since I am neither lawyer nor doctor, but my mom and I know I would have been lost in the public system. You pay the money because you don’t like the alternatives.
Now I live in Oakland, in a horrible public school district and face choices I don’t really like for my son. We can’t really afford the nicer neighborhoods or private school and there’s no way we’d send him to our district school. But I’d rather stretch and sacrifice than see my son who is an excited learner become beaten down and disengaged. We all make our choices and I believe that you have oversimplified this one.
March 15th, 2010at 7:23 pm(#)
Thanks for commenting. Even if the post has been up for awhile it doesn’t mean that we’ve actually figured anything out yet or come to any conclusions! I agree that it really does depend on the child, and I certainly wouldn’t choose private school just in the hopes that they would grow up to be a doctor or lawyer. It’s not about an investment in the sense that you should see financial dividends.
But I would hope that in New York, at least, there are charter schools and such that will give a diversity of options for kids with different learning styles. That’s the idea anyhow. My heart is with public schools, and I’d rather be a part of pressuring them to change for the better, not leaving them altogether. Of course, we also live in a decent school district, and I know some in the East Bay just aren’t. I hope our stance doesn’t end up hurting my kids, but only time will tell.