A Week on the Warren Wagon

Matt is lost in the Slovak woods somewhere, Theodore is obviously knee-deep in pussy somewhere in the Caribbean, Christopher is humping in the old-fashioned sense (as in, working very hard) in a dying industry, and Nathan has spent the week as a captive of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs who regret to inform him that he will not be getting a press visa in time for his flight on Monday.

None of this has left much time for, you know, DadWagon this week. Sure, Matt had a nice post about parenting during Pesach and about SAHD ads in Slovakia and then a really weird one about his nightmares. Christopher posted a video which makes us wonder if he isn’t secretly being paid by Apple. He also mentioned Dada in one headline and awarded geek points (he has many to bestow) for guessing the Shakespeare reference in another. Nathan got real dizzy and then took time out of his day to criticize a man who jumped in the East River and saved his own daughter.

That’s all fine, but would have been a meager week by DadWagon standards if it weren’t for Warren.

Beautiful, auburn-haired, silver-worded Warren.

Angeleno of our dreams.

When Theodore first told us that his old writing partner would fill in for him from Los Angeles for the week, we were skeptical. Could he really replace Theodore, who is the anger-glue that keeps this blog attached to the world of kvetch and sarcasm, lest the other three of us let it float into sentimental daddyland? We had our doubts.

Well, don’t worry, Theodore, he hasn’t replaced you. First off, he doesn’t seem all that pissed about anything. Second, we know that Theodore has a lawyer. If we want to terminate him, DadWagon HR is going to have to be very careful–lots of written warnings, a well-documented history of clear expectations that were not met by the plaintiff.

But even though he’s not replacing Theodore, let us just say, good Christ, Warren can write. His Monday post about the horrors of Easter competitions was a gem. You really ought to read it. But before you do, check out his next post, about the racist potty-mouths attached to all our children. It’s possibly even better than the first.

Nathan, as he does with all that is true and beautiful in this world, crapped all over it. The problem, he contended, was that Warren made the rest of us look like hacks. And Warren, with a silent *fuck this*, got “real busy with work” and hasn’t written anything since. Although he promises something this afternoon.

What I’m saying is, contact Warren. Tweet to him (@wmbenedetto). Bombard his website with loving denial-of-service attacks. Tell him the DadWagon is sorry. We miss him already.

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About Nathan

Nathan Thornburgh is a contributing writer and former senior editor at TIME Magazine who has also written for the New York Times, newyorker.com and, of course, the Phnom Penh Post. He suspects that he is messing up his kids, but just isn’t sure exactly how.

2 thoughts on “A Week on the Warren Wagon

  1. At the risk of it gettin’ all sycophantic up in this Wagon, I gotta let you ALL know that I think you guys are doing a really good thing here. A really good – smart and funny – thing. And I thank you for it. Hope you all stay.

  2. Pingback: Parenting: back to it | DADWAGON

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