• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

How to Be a Man: Plumbing Edition

September 30th, 2010  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  3 Comments

For effete assholes like myself, there are few things more potentially insulting to what remains of our manhood than a visit from a repairman. These guys, with their toolbelts, plaster-dusted hair, workboots-really-used-for-working, and ability to, you know, fix things with their hands, represent everything I am not. But hey, when the bathtub is leaking through the ceiling of the downstairs apartment, you gotta call someone, right?

Actually, my plumbers are pretty great guys, and not at all intimidating in that “Hey, you catch the Jets game? Hand me that roll groover” way that usually terrifies me. Joe and Kev showed up when they said they would, cut holes in the wall, dug around inside, and replaced a bunch of shit that needed replacing—without making me feel like I was a pussy for not being able to do it myself. Partly, this was because whoever put our tub in originally, 10 or 12 years ago, did an extremely bad job, and Joe loudly complained about their stupidity, and about idiot clients who hire cheap, inexperienced plumbers to do work that should be done by seasoned pros. Translation: You were smart to hire me instead of trying to do it yourself.

Which: yes. In reality, I can take care of a lot of most several some basic home-maintenance issues, and am not really as helpless as I’m making myself out to be. I can install an air-conditioner and assemble Ikea furniture; I even own a power drill, for goodness sake (not cordless, alas). But the better part of valor here is knowing when you’re outclassed, and sitting down to write a ludicrously large check to someone else to fix it for you. That’s what I did, and if you think that’s somehow less manly than wrecking the tub myself, I’ve got an extra-large pair of balls for you to suck.


  1. beta dad says:

    September 30th, 2010at 1:37 pm(#)

    The roll groover is right between the board-stretcher and the skyhooks. *spits on floor*

  2. stormsweeper says:

    October 1st, 2010at 1:40 am(#)

    Real men don’t use cordless drills.


    How Not to Be a Man: Ikea Edition | DADWAGON

Leave a Response



Recent Comments

  • Len: Absolutely! Unequivocally! Especially if they’re only in preschool. What they learn and experience on a...
  • Nathan: Yes, suspiciously sanitary. Of course, my babies just emit a faint, pleasing lemony odor. So maybe I’m...
  • Joe: Now I don’t know anything about babies, except that one is going to come out of my wife soon, but from...
  • Brenda: Wow, is it really MNG? Seriously excited!
  • SCOTTSTEV: My goodness. I read your takedown of Armin Brott. Judging from the preppy shirt on the cover, I was...

DadWagon Reads!

What Almost Made Me Cry Today:

ทรูมูฟ เอช " การให้ คือการสื่อสารที่ดีที่สุด " Giving ทรูมูฟ เอช เชื่อเสมอว่า "การให้ คือการสื่อสารที่ดีที่สุด" โดยเราสื่อสารผ่านภาพยนตร์โฆษณาทางโทรทัศน์ เรื่องราวในภาพยนตร์โฆษณาเรื่องนี้ สะท้อนแนวคิดของแบรนด์ ท...

Sep 13th, 2013 4:43pm • Comment

How to stop toddlers from crying—guaranteed!

How to Stop her Crying

Aug 23rd, 2013 3:08pm • No Comments

Little Children, Big Challenges: Incarceration - Sesame Workshop
Welcome to Sesame Street’s press room for our newest resiliency initiative Little Children, Big ...

Jun 12th, 2013 12:42pm • No Comments

This is what it's like!

Convos With My 2 Year Old - EPISODE 1 Actual conversations with my 2 year old daughter, as re-enacted by me and another full grown man - Episode 1. Produced by Warmland Films www.warmlandfilms.co...

May 24th, 2013 11:40am • No Comments