• Like all of you, I was excited this week to see at my supermarket checkout lane the new issue of People—featuring the Sexiest Men Alive! Squee! Of course, I immediately looked to see which of these hot hot HOT men were dads, and it turns out there’s good old Jon Bon Jovi at no. 6. Married for 21 years and 48 years old, he’s got four kids, none of whom have so far made it into rehab or porn. (Alex, can you name a “good dad” Bon Jovi tune?) Anyway, good work, Jon! Keep it sexy!

• Vin Diesel also made that list, and he has a daughter. But, eh, Vin Diesel.

• It’s hard enough to decide whether to keep your own fetus, so why not work up to that decision by choosing for someone else? Now, with BirthOrNot.com, you can! An insane couple named “Pete” and “Alisha” are taking “Internet votes” on whether to keep (or not!) the 16-week-old fetus they’ve nicknamed “Wiggles.” Finally, people surfing the Web to avoid work can enjoy every part of the agonizing dilemma—without bearing any of the responsibility! I have no idea whether it’s real (or not!), and it certainly feels like a political stunt, but I think we can agree on two things: 1. This is good for no one. 2. If they do have the kid, well, better hope some sort of zombie-cyborg apocalypse destroys modern society, including the Internet, because boy, would that be an awkward day when the kid discovers his parents put his existence in the hands of people like this guy.